Chapter 19- Perfect Night and Thoughts

11.9K 323 22
                                    

Packing 4 kids and getting them in the car by a certain time never works for me. I don't know how other mothers do it. Maybe because they have help I don't really know. But I may as well have packed my whole house. Not for me but for them. About 10 outfits for each child, toothbrushes, bottles, formula, diapers, car seats, playpens, blankets, rockers for the babies. It's a never ending list. Thankfully I had it all packed last night. But loading it up, getting the kids ready and then loading them up is a battle within itself. I put the babies in first because they were asleep and in their car seats already. When I went inside to get Jill and Kacey's bag with their tablet and snacks in it, one baby was crying and the other has pooped. So then came a feeding and a diaper change. I don't even know how the twins got on a different feeding schedule but somehow they did. One always wants to be fed and changed an hour after I'm done doing it all with the other one. We finally pulled out of the driveway at 8 and started the 2 hour journey to the cabin. He told me the cabin would have enough room for us all. It has like 3 bedrooms, large patio and a pond out back. I bet it looks beautiful. I can see the mailbox Josh was telling me about in the distance. A 2 hour drive was turned into a 3 because I had to stop twice. Potty breaks and for food. I turn down the long gravel driveway and about 2 minutes later we break the trees and there's a log cabin with a gorgeous view in front of us.

"It's niiiiice." Jill says from in the back.
"I have to agree." I chuckle.

I get out of the car and let the girls out first. They have a lot of energy to work off.  Josh comes out and helps me to bring in the stuff. I have to share a room with him which I'm a little against but it'll have to work. The girls are staying in the room that's next to ours and the babies are sleeping in the room with us of course. I'll have their playpen right next to the bed so it's easy for me to get them. His sister is staying in a cabin a little bit down the road with her husband and her 2 kids. Her kids are close to the girls age which will be fun for them. When everything is in the rooms, I shut the door to the babies room quietly because they're sleeping and go downstairs. Jill and Kacey are patiently waiting at the patio door for me to put sunblock on them so they can go outside. I sit at the kitchen table and do Jill first. I'm in the middle of squeezing it out on my hand when a group of people walks in the kitchen. His mom, dad and sister. His sister looks like a real southern bell with her large sun hate on and nice yellow sun dress.

"Hi." His mom smiles. "I'm Linda and that's Todd and Crystal." She says, taking a jug of lemonade out of the fridge.
"Nice to meet you." I smile back. "Jill and Kacey." I say, motioning to the girls.

"Very pretty names." She says, looking at them both. "Sophie and Matthew are outside if they wanted to go out and see them." 

"Can we?" Kacey asks, looking up at me.

"Of course." I smile. The girls run outside and I smile. I'm sure they'll enjoy it here.

After spending the afternoon with his sister and his mom sitting on the patio, his sister goes back to her cabin. Me and is mom head back inside to get started on supper. Josh went somewhere with his dad. She just put a casserole in the oven and is cleaning up from it while I'm feeding Kyson. 

"Your kids are really sweet." She says, looking out the window at the girls who are still playing with her grand children.
"Thanks." I smile, looking down at the baby in my arms. Everything is so peaceful here. It's a completely different vibe from back home.
"Josh talks about them a lot."
"Really?" I ask, glancing at her.

"Oh yeah. When they started riding bikes on their own he called us all right away." She chuckles, wiping the counter down. 

"I didn't think he even cared about things like that." 
"He's always wanted kids of his own but hasn't quite found someone to settle down with. But I think he has now." She smiles.

 I don't say anything after that. I know he cares about us. But why would he go after my best friend if he cared about us as much as she says he does? It just doesn't make sense.

* * * *
After supper his dad gets a fire started and we all go outback to roast marshmallows and weiners. The babies are inside in the living room and I have the monitor with me so I'll hear them if they wake up. I help Kacey put a marshmallow on her stick and she holds it over the fire.

"You girls having fun?" Josh asks, sitting next to me. They both nod and Jill shoves a marshmallow in her mouth. I chuckle and wipe off what didn't make it in her mouth.

"So how are things?" Crystal asks me, sipping her drink.

"Pretty good." I say, trying to avoid eye contact with her.

"I hear you guys aren't living together-" She's cut off by the sound of a baby crying on the monitor. 

"Excuse me." I say, getting up from where I'm sat down.

I go inside and I pick Briella up out of the play pen and go to the kitchen to make her a bottle. While I'm making it, she calms down, as if knowing what's coming. When it's heated I go to the rocking chair out on the front patio and sit in the silence. The door is open and I can hear the girls laughing  and I chuckle a little myself. I wish I lived in a place like this. The trees surrounding us, a little pond in the back, no neighbors around and no one to bother us. Doing that of course would mean packing the girls up from school and having to drive 2 hours to see Brad. But would it be worth it? It would definitely be a big decision. When Briella is done, I go inside and lay her in her chair. I take Kyson out and slowly lay him in his. Just as I'm doing this Josh and the girls come inside.

"Bedtime." I smile. Their faces turn crooked at the word 'bedtime' and I just laugh.

Josh brings the playpen up and carries up the babies in their chairs while I put pajamas on the twins. Kacey plays with the babies a little while I get Jill dressed and then they switch. They love their brother and sister which is really sweet. When they're dressed they climb into bed and I tuck the sheets warm around them.

"Mommy." Kacey says, looking at me.

"Yes?" I ask, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Are we gonna move back to home?"
"I miss it." Jill pipes up.

"Maybe." I smile. "I love you girls." I say, kissing both their heads. 

I get up and turn the lamp off. I leave the room, shutting the door a little bit behind me. I go down to Josh and I's room and I begin to get ready for bed myself. I crawl under the covers and sit up, looking at Josh as he gets ready too.

"How do you like it?" He asks, crawling in next to me.

"It's so beautiful. I love it." I say, smiling slightly. "Thank you for inviting us."

I roll over and turn my lamp off. I close my eyes as Josh's arm snakes around my waist, pulling me into him. I hate to admit it but I missed this. But it isn't about me. It's about my kids and what's good for them. Should we move back in with him? Or should we try and make it on our own? Can I trust him again?
I push all those thoughts to the back of my mind and embrace the silence of the night. 2 sleeping girls, 2 sleeping babies, a sleeping dog and a beautiful view to wake up too tomorrow. What more could I ask for?

Marriage MistakeWhere stories live. Discover now