deathwish • horan

prologue

Have you ever had that one friend? Someone you rely on, someone you highly think of any part of your day and you always want to please them - because they have put an effort of staying in your life, and repaying them with a sense of gratitude wouldn't cut it, but it would definitely mean something in a way.

Maura Horan was sitting on the maroon colored couch, her frail fingers flicking through the printed magazine that seemed to have been dated a couple of months ago. The Collins' residence wasn't quite large but it fulfilled Diana's satisfactions the past year. Ever since her daughter had left for college, and her late husband had passed away five years ago - this house was enough.

Maura had been there for Diana, helping her and her daughter gain their selves back on track financially and emotionally, ever since the devastating incident of Ben's passing. It was the best she could do for her childhood friend. She wasn't one who had the heart to leave Diana behind, especially when she found her frail body shopping in the supermarkets back in Mullingar.

It had been a while since she met Diana, so she grabbed the chance to pull her in a bone crushing hug, and she remembered how Diana broke down spontaneously in her arms. That meet up was needed, she needed help and Maura was happy to do so.

Maura was now waiting for Diana to get dressed, since they had planned a small brunch at the new cafe that was located along the streets. It seemed fancy yet simple, so they wanted to try the well known pastries and cheesecake which was spread in one of the section in the newspapers.

Taking a glance at the clock, she noticed that it had been quite a while since Diana was dolling herself up, as she might put it. She frowned, before walking to the door that had been recognized as Diana's. The house only had three rooms and each room had their own toilet except for the guest room. It wasn't all that, but it did work anyways.

"Diana, are you done?" she questioned and she placed her ear on the door, but frowned when no response was heard. "Diana?"

She walked in the unlocked room and found it nearly spotless except for the few shirts lying on the bed. Diana wasn't anywhere to be seen and she decided to walk over to the bathroom door that was slightly ajar. Pushing the door open, she found herself gasping and falling onto her knees.

"Diana?!"

-------

The loneliness of Maura in the waiting room was slowly killing her, she couldn't help but feel the urge to hurl at how quiet it was at 5 in the evening. It would be another different story if she was at the emergency room, but she wasn't. Well, she was before Diana was pulled into a room.

After staring at the blank space of the wall, she was quietly interrupted by a chubby nurse who said that the doctor who she didn't quite catch his name was calling her to Diana's room. She followed behind the chubby nurse, taking small glances of the other patients who had quite a small number of visitors. The sight was quite heart-wrenching, especially when she was walking through the halls of the Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

They reached a room that was located at the end of the hallway, and she looked at the stranger who had a long white coat on him, and she immediately understood that this was the doctor that was in charge of Diana. She took a glance at her who was delicately lying on the white sheets, and she looked so pale. Maura felt her heart crush at how seriously damaged she look with all the wires and tubes surrounding her body.

"Hello Mrs. Horan, I am Dr. Ezra and I would like to thank you for bringing Mrs. Collins in earlier today. You are such a lifesaver." He said, a faint smile on his lips but Maura ignored the smile. She was too worried about what had happened to Diana, and she had no time to pat herself on the back for rushing Diana to the hospital. It didn't change anything.

"I am sorry to break it to you Mrs. Horan, but it appears to be quite a serious condition for Mrs. Collins." His voice lingered in the air and Maura wanted him to talk quicker, and to just tell her what was wrong.

"Can you just spit it out?" Maura said, her voice emotionless.

"She has a brain tumor and it has already reached the third stage. We can remove it, but that doesn't mean that she would survive."

Maura's breath was caught in her throat, she wasn't sure what to think. She didn't know how to respond. The doctor looked at her, and he cleared his throat before speaking again.

"But the patient seemed to have known this, since she had been here before. We have already jotted down some required medicine, but she hasn't been here for the past year."

Damn Diana, Maura thought. What was she thinking? Maura let out a breath, and she nodded at the doctor's sentences. Diana had always been this way, thinking that her sickness was ought to run away somehow even though without medicine. Maura knew her too well.

"Thank you Doctor. Is there anything that I can do?" she finally found her voice, and took a glimpse at Diana's hands before gripping them in hers.

"Well, not really. She would soon be up in a few hours. Let her take some rest, and we'll soon console her to take in some treatments that would ought to be ideal for her situation."

Maura shook her head, "I doubt that she would consider options, but thank you for thinking so doctor." She smiled faintly at a confused doctor, and he nodded before leaving the room.

Diana didn't like medicine, or even any treatments. They had always held onto a pact that they wanted to die normally - no matter what. They even had a promise on that, sigh. What were they thinking when they were teenagers? Yes, it seemed that death was a topic along the way.

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Maura had took a trip down the cafeteria of the hospital, and had decided that a small buttered scone and a hot chocolate would suffice for dinner that night. Her husband had been told about her current situation, and he had decided to have some Chinese takeout. Maura was pleased that her husband understood how serious it was when it concerned Maura's best friend. Cancer was tough, especially when Diana had no guarantee of being alive the next month.

Well, reality just smacked Maura in the face.

She entered the room that smelled like antiseptics and baby wipes, and found herself smiling at how awake Diana was.

Before Diana could say anything, Maura sat beside her.

And Maura smacked Diana on the arm, quite harshly if I may add.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Maura whined, and Diana chuckled heartily- before having to take sips of water from lack of breath.

"I'm sorry Maura, I just didn't know how." She muttered, having to look at the television, not wanting to look at Maura's deathly stare.

"You could've just said it, we could've cured it or something."

"Well, that's not going to happen. We both agreed on that."

Maura sighed before scoffing slightly, "But what about me? What about Emily?"

Diana looked up at her with wide eyes, "Emily!"

"She doesn't know does she?" Maura stood up from the bed and paced in the room. "How can you not tell her? I have to tell her."

Diana whimpered, "She can't know."

"She has to know Di. You can't just leave her hanging." Maura sternly said, and Diana frowned- knowing that it wasn't her decision to make.

this was quite a filler, but it will grow soon. thank you for reading x