deathwish • horan

one of those nights

It was the silence in the car that worried Niall, as he could listen to how Emily breathed in the cold of the night, and the air conditioning was roaming through the car. He was unsure of what to say, worrying that he might affect Emily in any other way, or maybe she just needed the empty void that surrounded her and she wouldn't even talk to him. God, Niall was clueless at what to do to make Emily feel better. He just wanted her to be okay, even if it was obvious that she was okay - on the outside.

The ride to and back was quite the opposite, it was literally joy on the way to Maura's house, and the trip home was just slightly depressing. Niall wanted to be there for Emily, he wanted to be the one to cheer her up.

Niall looked over at Emily, and she was fiddling along with her fingers, her forehead leaning against the window, and her eyes were closed. Emily looked so calm, and Niall's heart went out to her, for all the bad things he's done, and for all the bad things that she has been suffering through. He wasn't sure how she lived her life, he had no clue how she survived such faraway countries alone, and he wanted to know. Niall wanted to learn much more about her if it were to be possible.

They reached their destination, and he slowly switched off the engine before watching as she slowly walked out of the car, not once looking back at him. Niall knew something was off, and he was determined to help. He wasn't going to suffocate her with questions or any inspirational quotes that he could Google online, but he just wanted her to know that he wanted to be there for her.

He walked into the kitchen, taking a glass of water since the drive home was cold and dry, no words leaving his dry and chapped lips. Emily was one to always have some hot chocolate or green tea -it was a mood thing, he thought- as he constantly noticed the garbage in the trash, or maybe how she cuddled the mug up against her knees, every time Brittany and him was over. It was too cute to not realize.

Niall walked into the room that was supposedly 'theirs' but he was too big of a jerk that Emily had to sleep in the room of hers. He had cleared all of Brittany's stuff earlier that day, and he had tidied it up, wanting for Emily to come back. He had quite some time thinking about this, and he was sure. He wanted Emily.

After changing into some comfortable clothes that didn't consist of his boots and skinny jeans, he decided to walk into the living room again, disappointed that Emily wasn't there. But what was he to expect? Emily was strong, but she couldn't be hard solid to be happy even after the news that they had previously received.

He pondered between giving her time on her own, or maybe helping her through it. He picked the latter, before walking into the room that Emily was currently sleeping in, and he couldn't help but frown at the emptiness. Where was she?

His eyes roamed the room until he saw the light coming out from under her bathroom, and he couldn't help but place his ear over the door. Niall's heart was crushed when he heard quiet sobs, and he knew he couldn't just let her cry in the bathroom.

Niall knocked gently, but there was no response and her sobs stopped. He didn't want to interrupt, he just wanted to help.

"Millie?"

He knew Emily was trying to be quiet as she could, but her silent hiccups and frantic breathing made it clear that she was in there.

"I know you're in there, Millie. I can hear you."

Niall yearned for her to say something.

"Please come out. I'm right here, love. You can trust me, I want to be there for you. I want to help you. You're not alone in this." He tried to be gentle as he could, not wanting to hurt the precious girl in the bathroom. He could imagine her blue eyes rimmed with tears and her face scrunched up. Niall wanted to be the one to kiss those tears away.

"I won't have anyone else." Emily whimpered, and Niall shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. Listening to Emily's voice so small and timid made his eyebrows all furrowed, and he tried his best to not tear up either.

"You'll always have me, Millie," Niall said before being cut off.

Emily's voice was slightly louder, or maybe she was getting closer to the door. "My mother's dying and I will be all alone because you're going to leave me and-"

Her voice croaked, and Niall could hear her wiping her tears followed with a couple of sniffles.

"I will never leave you." Niall said, his voice stern, and he wanted Emily to know.

She sniffed. "Yes, you will."

Niall chuckled slightly, "Can you at least come out so I can see you?"

"I look horrid, Niall. I can't-"

"Yes, you can. I am your husband, and I demand you to come out now before I-" His sentence wasn't finished and he tried to contain his laughter at how immediate Emily pulled the door open.

Her eyes were rimmed with red, just like Niall had imagined. He gave her a small smile before reaching for her arm, and she followed his lead to the kitchen. She sat at the stool, and Niall came back with a glass of water for her to gulp down. She happily did so.

Niall sat across her, and he watched her every move before noticing that she was staring back at him. He licked his lips before letting his hand cover hers, and he drew onto her hand with random shapes. Emily looked back and forth between Niall and their intertwined hands, and she couldn't help but feel quite pleasant inside.

Hold on.

"What about Brittany?" Emily wasn't sure why she had came to her mind, and those words instantly left her lips. Her eyes widened but she calmed down once Niall let out a small chuckle.

Niall shook his head slightly, his eyes still set upon their hands. "I don't care about Brittany now, I just care about you." Niall reached for her other hand and he cupped her hands in his, playing around with her fingertips and nails, they were so adorable.

"I'll be there for you, Millie. I always will, please remember this." He said lowly, and Emily looked up at him only to attract his attention and capture those blue oceans again. She watched as a small smiled was plastered against his plump lips and she mirrored his actions, gaining a small squeeze between their hands that were connected.

"Can we watch Toy Story?" Emily said, breaking the gaze between them because Niall immediately fell into a pit of laughter. God, this girl was so unbelievably cute.

Niall nodded before guiding Emily to the couch and holding her shoulders, trying to breathe in her wonderful scent that seemed to be Niall's favorite smell. She leaned against his chest, and Niall eased in the feeling of her being so close to him. It was officially his favorite feeling in the world.

"I've always had a collection of Disney movies, Diana loved them too." She mumbled, loud enough for Niall to hear. He nodded his head before walking over to the shelf where the collection of movies that he had studied through before was placed. He knew she had some weird obsession with Disney and poetry, but he had no problem with it.

The movie was starting, and Niall sat again in his previous spot, and amazingly Emily was the one to cuddle against his chest and his heart soared at how she was opening up to him. He welcomed the gesture by lazily slinging his arm over her side, making his hand rest on her stomach. This could be something he could easily adjust to.

It would be heavenly to spend time with Emily every single minute, he simply loved it.

pst no poetry bcs this chap talks a lot from niall's perspective and apparently he sucks at poetry so yeah
thanks for reading x