deathwish • horan

wedlock

Do you understand the feeling when you're so frustrated with your mom or dad but you can't say anything against them because they keep bringing up the fact that you're their child and you can't help but stay silent?

As reckless as Niall was, he couldn't really accept the fact that his mother was expecting him to obey her previous instructions. He wasn't a small kid anymore, and he definitely wasn't a lanky teenager anymore with braces and bleached hair.

His body was definitely defined, and his brown roots had already taken over his bleached hair making it look much more sleek and on fleek. His day off wasn't supposed to be filled with back and forth banters between his mother and him - but Maura was making it impossible.

"Ma, listen to yourself, you're being absolutely ridiculous!" he said, getting off the sofa that he was previously lounging on. But Maura came home and decided to break some fucking exiting news. Sense the fucking sarcasm, will you?

"It is most definitely not! I expect you to listen to me, and my decision is final." Maura muttered, her words firm and steady and she didn't want Niall to defy her. This was the only time she expected a fair response, and she had every right in the book to do so.

Niall shook her head, and tugged onto his growing hair. "Ma, she's Emily - the grown up little Millie, and I am Niall James Horan. She's like this small star and I'm the fucking galaxy!" Maura wanted to interrupt but he stopped her from doing so. "We're antonyms, the opposites, just so fucking different!"

Maura flinched at his curse words, and found her voice struggling to find a lower tone.

"That's why you complete each other. Please Niall,"

"No Ma, don't you get it? I'm still young and I have a life. What's so wrong with that? Good lord." he muttered, sitting back on the sofa with his shoulders slumped and his face in his hands.

Maura shook her head, "Well, you're getting old and I want to see you married with a much proper life to handle."

Marriage was a heavy topic, something Niall hadn't expect to be in most probably ten years from now or perhaps never. That was the most he had thought about it. So when Maura came home with this stupid plan, he kept pushing the thought away and rejected and rejected it all the way. It just wasn't his cup of tea.

"I'm not doing it." Niall said, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes at Maura. She on the other hand, wasn't moved by his words and decided to flick his forehead.

Niall rubbed his forehead after groaning. "I don't care. Diana deserves the best, and she wants Emily to be happy. Emily used to be your friend, what happened to that?"

"We were kids, Ma. We finally grew up." he rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms -portraying a small kid in a toy store who couldn't get his eye candy- honestly.

Maura wasn't one to force her sons onto decisions like these, but she needed to do this for Diana. It was her deathwish, and she wanted Emily to be happy. Even if her son wasn't the most ideal person, she had faith in the both of them. It was something called a motherly instinct? She wants the best for Niall, even if he was being a pain in the arse.

"I don't give a damn Niall. It's the least you can do for me. For your father. For Diana. My decision is final, and that is that. No objections allowed."

Maura stood on her feet and walked up to her room, feeling like a mix of a rebellious teenager who demanded something from her parents and maybe a slight feeling of being a judge because her common words being objections and final.

She couldn't wait, if she were to be honest. Just have to break the news to Emily and Diana - and everything will be smooth as cottage cheese.

-------

The wedding was such a defeating slump.

Emily tried to go along with the event, trying her best to keep up with Maura who introduced her to close friends and family and the smile plastered on her face kept hurting her cheekbones. It surprised her how smiling could be such a tiring chore.

The wedding was simple, and minimalistic. She didn't expect any grand event either since it was just a week's plan but this was enough to her heart's content. Her heart and brain kept interfering since this wasn't her choice but she knew it was the best decision in making her mother happy.

She looked across the room at Diana who was dressed gracefully in a chocolate colored dress that made her seem glowing even if she was already bald and her skin was such a pale contour. Maura was breath taking too, dressed in a matching dress and fitted suitably next to Ben, her husband.

Emily was sitting in a chair that secluded her in the corner of the room. She didn't know anyone, since the only invitation that she passed was to Harry and he was spending some family time with his sister in California. He felt sympathetic for her with the surprising news since he knew it wasn't a mutual decision and he was slightly disappointed he couldn't be there to see her all dressed up in a dress -which was a rare view-.

She fidgeted with the hem of her lacy sleeve, and admired the details of the white dress that had been sent to the dry cleaners since it was all dusty and yellow. This dress belonged to Diana, and she was honored to wear the dress that was once used by her mother when her parents got hitched.

It all seemed wonderful and majestic, but it felt like a hollow shell inside her soul. It felt like those weddings in Vegas, except this wasn't a case of that 'I love you too much so let's get married' kind of spur of the moment. This was just a wedding, ring exchanged and no vows were done because the bride and groom were awful strangers.

This is so awkward.

Weddings were supposed to be heart wrenching, beautiful and breath taking, filled with love and desire to be together. They were supposed to make you feel alive and ready to start a whole new life with the person you adore so much that you are devoted to spend your life with. This was supposed to be one of those moments where someone looks upon you and they smile at you with the look in their eyes that they long to be in your arms forever.

But all she got was the stranger waiting there with a small smile on his face, and his eyes never meeting hers.

Emily felt like crying, if she were to be honest. But it was for her best, or her mother's happiness -at least that was all that she could muster.

Her eyes roamed the room again, only to meet the same blue eyes that caught her breath in the back of her throat. She hadn't expected Niall to be so handsome and beautiful at the same time. It was like he was sculpted by the hands of god, and she wondered how it was possible for that to happen.

His eyes quickly flickered away from hers, and he smiled again at the person he was talking to without any other glances at Emily. She took the chance to study how his nose was flat yet such a complementary addition to his face. His lips were thin yet so plump and his jawline sharp, she swore she could get a paper cut if she trailed her fingers down his face. And his eyes, good lord don't let her start on those oceans she could simply get lost in.

Emily widened her eyes once she realized she was being descriptive about Niall. What was she thinking? It didn't feel right if it was so unrequitted. She knew they were both being forced in this, but she had to learn quick.

Her eyes wandered again to Niall, and she studied how fit his body looked in the grey suit that he had on. She gulped once she saw his fingers gripping onto the glass of champagne in his hand. He looked so different than the boy that once built sandcastles with her. Puberty hit him so damn well.

She gasped once she saw him looking at her with a smirk on his face. He had saw her watching him from afar, and she felt color rising to her cheeks once he smiled at her. She awkwardly fidgeted in her seat before looking away - feeling his stare on her and she took large breaths of air to contain herself. What was wrong with her?

One thing was for sure : as much as this wedding was forced, Niall James Horan still took her breath away.

this was such a big leap but i hope yall would understand x
and i cried listening to home do you even understand how much that song enters my soul like
yes please SING IT TO ME ALL DAY AND NIGHT AND ILL CRY YOU BUCKETS OF TEARS
ok thank you for reading this xx