hard choices // l.h

8

i stepped out of the bathroom once i processed what calum said to me. i didnt want to be on this bus anymore. i didnt want to be anywhere near calum or even luke right now. i crawled into lukes bunk and tried not to think about anything at all. which was almost impossible.

-

once the bus stoped, i was awaken from my thoughtless sleep by a gental giant as he rubbed my back soothingly. i smiled and stretched then i looked back at his smiling face too. "we're here..." luke sang with excitment. i giggled then got up and got my stuff together along with the rest of them.

once we entered the airport, almost 100 fans were screaming and hollaring at the boys and i. i dont know how these child men do this everyday because its very overwhelming. "how do u guys deal with this?" i giggled and moved a little closer to luke as a first instinct for protection im guessing.

"we love it." luke said as he smiled and looked out at all the excited fans. they were holding signs and phones and waving their hands around in the air. they love these boys so much its scary. im probably more than lucky to have the life i have now. any of these girls would die to have my life.

i jumped back into the real world when ashton was calling my name. apparently i was falling behind and i remember luke telling me to not loose track of where they are because of the security. "sorry." i mumbled as i caught up with them. ashton just chuckled at me. "are you excited to be in the twin cities? they were amazing last year!" ashton said with loads of excitment in his eyes and voice. "yeah totally." i said trying to sound as excited as i could, but failing. ashton looked at me with his 'concerned' look. "what ash." i breathed as i rubbed my eyes. i didnt want him to get caught in this mess too. "whats wrong." he stated as he crossed his arms and sternly glared into my eyes once we entered the line to drop off our bagage. "you seem.. differnt?" he mumled quietly so no one could hear.

"im fine ash." i said sorta mean. i didnt mean for it to come out that way but i just didnt want ashton knowing anything. but now im guessing he has a hint that im not really 'fine.' we got our bags then got onto the plane. "first class baby." michael sung with a smirk on his face as he entered the plane. me and luke sat next to eachother then michael and ashton sat across from us. calum sat on the opposite side of ashton and michael on the other seat behind them. i looked out the window down at the little workers as they directed the huge planes across the big blue sky.

luke squeezed my thigh then i looked over at his face as it held a concerned emotion. "what?" i chuckled nervously, hoping he wouldnt notice. "did calum say something last night to you?" luke whispered into my ear as he kissed my cheek. i sighed. "we talked. we both said things." i weakly responded. "what did he say to you?" my heart started pounding as those words escaped lukes mouth. heat flashed over my body like a wave. "he just told me.. that he.. missed his family." relief flooded my body as i recovered myself from the sentence i was about to say. "oh why didnt he just tell me that?" luke whispered confused. i shrugged then took a breath. this was gonna be a long, awkward flight.

-

once we landed, another tour bus picked us up then dropped us off at the venue. we all entered and found the dressing rooms. this time i didnt have to help set up or take down anything. which was nice so i got to just watch the show and fangirl with all the other fangirls in St. Paul.

as the boys got set up, i took the time to look around the venue and kinda get The gist of the surroundings. there was little bar things that held food and drinks. so i got a smoothy then as an hour passed, i made my way back to the dressing rooms to check on the boys. as i found my way down there i bumped into calum in the hall.

"oh hey cal." i said confused. "you arent gonna kiss me again are you?" i attempted at a very weak joke that when no where. red flushed out my face as i tried to recover my comment. "no i just wanted to apologize for last night. i was just not having the best day and my feelings just overwhelm me sometimes."

"dont worry about it calum." i looked down at my hands briefly then looked back into calums sunken eyes. "hey.." i soothed as i pulled him in for a hug. "im sorry calum." i whispered as i felt him trying to wipe away the tears that were falling down his cheeks. "listen to me calum," i pulled away so i was looking into his puffy eyes. "you cant beat yourself up about this. i guess you really like me and i know how you feel. i was obsessed with luke but he was with arzalea last year. i was crushed for a long time until things broke off with them and i actually got a chance. but this doesnt mean me and luke are going to break up soon im just saying things always get better in the end. you just have to be prepared and wait patiently." i gave a sad smile to the sad cuddly boy as he stood in front of me. he returned the sad smile then wiped his eyes once more. "thank you." he whispered as he pulled me into another hug. i shut my eyes and squeezed my arms around this giant.

"now go play your heart out." i laughed then calum chuckled back. he took a deep breath then walked to the dressing room. the boys had about 10 minutes to get ready before they went onstage. so i hung out with them until they started.

-

"cmon boys its your time to shine." the manager said as she came into the dressing room. they all hollared and yodeled then made their big apperance onto the stage. i gotta say, once i got to my seat, everyone was either sobbing or screaming their hearts out as loud as they can. once i found my seat three girls next to me recognized me and said hi and gave me a hug. "whats your names?!" i screamed at the top of my lungs so they could hear me. "im victoria, this is luci and thats ella!" the small dark skinned girl screamed back with a smile. "im evelyn if you didnt know already!" i screamed then they laughed. "you're hot." ella said then victoria and Luci laughed. i chuckled then blushed slightly. "Well thank you! you are too!" i laughed. "All of you!" they said thank you then we returned to the boys as they came out.

when they played up there on that huge ass stage, it was as if their hearts were being displayed by their voices. all of them sang amazingly. it almost made me cry. for some reason, i kept my eyes on calum. he looked at me a few times and smiled slightly then hot back to shredinf his base. "These next three songs, aka Vapor, waste the night, and catch fire, are all deticated to Evelyn tonight." calum said up close to his mic. my face flushed out with color as everyone around me screamed louder then i ever could. i smiled still with a red face, at calum then looked at luke. lukes eyes were darted at calum. oh no. this wasnt planned. calum, you done fucked up.