hard choices // l.h

13

I dont know anymore.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

i dont know if ill be okay.

i woke up on the queen bed alone. everything hurt and ached. i tried to pry open my sore eyes, but failed at the sight of the burning light, filling the room.

"am i dead?" i thought. of course i wasnt, but it sure did feel like it.

my eyes got used to the light quickly once i opened them. i tried with all of my strength in my body to just sit up, but my stomache ached and my head throbbed. my lips werent chapped, they were beyond chapped.

but worst of all, my heart was broken.

after a few minutes of pain and frustration, i managed to get up. i wobbled over to the bathroom, making sure nobody saw me get up. it made me even more sick to my stomache knowing luke was in the same room as me.

when he said those words, it made me feel like nothing. like all those years were nothing to him. in that exact moment he even made me feel like i was a burden. which hurt me the most.

after i was done peeing, i stood in front of the mirror almost discusted by my image. my face was pale as well as my lips. my hair was a curly mess. then i noticed a cut on the side of my head. what the fuck happened.

now im scared.

i dont remember anything about last night except me running off. i guess i was hung over by my apperance. which only made my body feel worse. but what i kept thinking was, this is all lukes fault. because of his stupid choice in words and how they effected me.

by this point, im praying it gets better.

luke:

im fucking done. with all this shit. evelyn shouldnt have came on this tour. because if she didnt, our relationship wouldnt be breaking by the second. we'd be facetiming and skyping every night, and she'd ask about how the show went, everynight. then she'd shed tears because she missed me too much.

(if you cant tell, ive thought about this alot lately.)

but now, shes gone mad.

i cant say i dont miss her though. the little things are what i miss most. but whenever i think about them, i think about how thats never going to be the same. she threw our relationship away by being with asshole calum. why would she even do this? why would she be with calum, when things were going just fine with us??

calum:

after Evelyn basically passed out in my arms at the bar, i carried her outside then caught a cab. because i wasnt gonna walk 3 blocks carrying her, nope.

once we got into the hotel, i carried her into the elevator then we got to our room. it was like 6:45 am. i knocked on the door then ashton opened with sleepy eyes and bed head. once he saw ev though, his eyes widened and his face softened with concern. "what the hell calum?" he whispered as i walked in and layed her in the queen bed room.

i walked out and cracked the door just in case she starts puking again while shes sleeping. i took a deep breath then me and ashton went into the kitchen to talk. "hello?" ashton asked sounding annoyed. "its lukes fault ash. talk to him." i sighed then i got some water and layed down on the couch.