hard choices // l.h

11

i walked away from the boys then went to my bunk. i herd footsteps behind me and right there i knew it was calum. i mean, who else would it have been?

"im sorry okay."calum whispered behind me. "i know your sorry calum. you've been telling me for the past 10 minutes. im over it.." i sighed then turned my back to face him. it was silent then after a moment, i felt him crawl in slowly next to me. rage started to fill my head as i turned around abruptly to face him. "if luke sees you, you're dead you know." i said with a clenched jaw.

calum shrugged then sat up and pulled the little curtain across the entrance of my bunk. i sighed then rolled into a ball and shut my eyes. calum slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. i wasnt comfortable, but in a weird way, i was. i felt cared for. loved. which was odd because when i was with ashton, i didnt even feel like this.

i gave in and snuggeled closer into him. i had a spark light inside my heart. i felt warmth fill my body. i smiled to myself. i was almost happy.. i was happy to be with calum. in calum's arms. whats wrong with me?

"never leave me.." i whispered as i snuggled even more into his chest, shutting my eyes tight. "i promise." he whispered ever so slightly back. my heart was overwhelmed but in a good way.

-

i was woken up by calum playing with my hair and poking my face. "wake up.." he sang, "we have to get going." he whispered in my ear, tickling it with his hot breath. "mmkay.." i yawned and rubbed my eyes, then looked over at calum while his ees were locked on mine. i smiled then covered my face with my hands. "stop looking at me!" i giggled.

"i cant." he chuckled back. i moved my finger so there was a slit that i could see between my fingers. then i blushed deeply. "can i kiss you.." calum asked in a low whisper. i half froze. oh god. am i leading him on? or do i want him to kiss me. is this right? duh evelyn, its wrong. you love luke. no you dont. deep down inside, calum has your heart. but he's a dick? so? its hot.

as my mind faught with my thoughts i stared at calum. he stared back, awkwardly. i laughed awkwardly then looked back up at his confused face. "that was a stupid question.." he looked down and rubbed his face. "no it wasnt.." i said without thinking. he looked back at me. i smirked and he smirked back. "do you want me to kiss you or not?!" he whispered in an annoyed tone. i bit my lip and nodded. again without thinking. "finally.." he whispered as he gently grabbed my face and pulled his lips onto mine so they connected perfectly. it was that one truth or dare night all over again. but probably x10 better. which seemed impossible, i know.

we pulled away without opening our eyes. "why does this feel right?" i asked absentmindedly. "maybe because it is." he answered then smashed his swollen lips onto mine again, and again. "i missed this." he whispered again. "me too.." i said after a while then he pulled away and looked at me in the eyes. "really..?"

i shrugged and smirked slightly. "well yeah kinda. as bad as it sounds." i admitted as i kissed his neck up and down. i remembered why he woke me up in the first place. "shit are we supposed to be going?" i asked seriously as i looked at calum. calums face fell then he quickly got up and nodded. i hurried and got out of my bunk then threw a sweatshirt on. "we're just going to a hotel though." he whispered. "oh okay." relief fled my body.

i grabbed my things and calum got his. the rest of the boys had all their things but they were just getting something to drink. which was relieving because i didnt want any of them to hear or see anything calum and i were doing. if luke saw us, calum and i would both be dead right now. i kept my cool once we check into our hotel. unfortunatly, there was for beds but one was queen. whoever got the queen would have to share with me. which most of me wanted calum to get it but i guess it wouldve been fine with ashton or michael. not luke.

"i call queen!" calum yelled out as we entered the room. i silently got really excited. "damn it. ev, are you.. um.. staying with calum then?" ashton asked awkwardly. "i guess." i casually said. but inside, im dying of happiness right now.

it was like 6:30 so they all wanted something to do. we watched a movie and they made popcorn and stuff but they wanted more food. so calum and i decided to explore chicago and find some food.

"what are we now?" calum asked randomly as we exited our hotel and began to walk down the sidewalk. "what do you mean?" i asked him. "what are we? FWB? dating? fuck buddies?" calum laughed. i laughed then too. " who said anything about fucking?" i giggled. "nobody but you were thinking it." he smirked at me and winked. i slapped him and rolled my eyes. "was not." i whined. "mhmm." he smiled his famous cheeky smile that made me melt.

i smiled back then kept walking in the crowd of people. a biker was comming down the sidewalk really fast towards me. before i even got a good look, calum grabbed me and held me up to him. "fuck you dude!" calum screamed as he flipped him off. that was probably the scariest thing ever. i didnt even see him comming. luckily calum did..

"are you okay? did he touch you?" calum asked concerned. i shook my head, not fully able to speak. calum grabbed my hand ans linked it with his own then pulled me closer. "ill protect you." he whispered into my hear following with a kiss on my temple. my face heat up at his gesture then we kept walking. "look theres a 7/11. finally!" calum said then squeezed my hand.

"yay. its cold out." i softly spoke. "i know. we're almost there." he assured. once we got there, we entered the warm convenient store then walked around and picked out random snacks. "calum hood! oh my god!!" a girl screamed from behind us. my hand slipped away quickly then we turned around to become face to face with three fans. one was tall and beautiful with red hair and green eyes. the second one was short with short blond hair and the third one that yelled calums name was dark skinned with long dark hair.

"oh em g, will you take a picture with us?!" the tall red head asked calum in a shaky voice. "hi! yes of course!" he smiled happily then took their phone for the picture. "i can take it?" i offered as i steped closer. "oh um. no thanks." the blond one said as she looked at me in discust. "why not?" calum asked confused. "shes betraying luke by being with you." the red head said as she looked at me with evil eyes that dug into my skull. my head was about to burst with rage. "shes with me to pick out snacks. so just back off okay?" calum said i the nicest way possible. but i knew they were getting on his nerves.

"can we just get a picture?" the dark skin girl said as she quickly gave me her camera. i took the picture then the three fans left. leaving me saddened. i took a deep breath. "sorry. i dont know what the hell that was." "i do. they dont like me." i chuckled in a matter-of-factly tone. "i honestly dont care calum. they dont even know the whole story anyway." i looked at some chips without looking up. im sure calum could tell it still bothered me. but he let it be then looked for some candy.

once we got the snacks, we left with two bags full of junk. then we made our way back to the hotel. calum linked hands again but i didnt like it as much as i did before. now i just feel judged by everybody around us. i pulled my hand away then put my strand of hair behind my ear. calum understood i think, because he didnt try to do it again. which was good but still awkward.

we arrived back at the hotel, as i call it the hotel of hell, and took the elevator up to our room. the boys were still watching the first movie they put in but this time without popcorn. "sorry guys we're back." "what'd you get!?" michael said as he ran toward us and opened the plastic bags full of goodies. "lots of thangs." i said as i put my jacket on a chair and sat down. ashton ran over to see what we got also.

luke was the last one but he did come over to see the food, he came to talk to me. "can we uhm.. talk?" he whispered to me.