hard choices // l.h

18

i pulled away, back into realtity to be punched in the face with guilt. what have i done?

"i-im sorry we cant.. i.." i stumbled with words but luke just looked down. "im sorry. i understand." he whispered as he took a breath then we walked silently back to our table. "foods here!" ashton announced as we sat down. i weakly forced a smile then glanced up at luke who was taking a sip of beer and avoiding my gaze. then i felt eyes on me. i look up to see calum and colleen giving me a worried look. i look down at my food awkwardly then start eating.

once everyone was acquainted, we could talk about whatever we wanted. "so ev are you working again?" ashton asked with a mouth full of food. i finished chewing
then swallowed. "well not exactly. ive been looking for a while now but.. um.. colin actually might get me an interview at a record lable company so im really excited."

"dude thats amazing! do you know what company?" michael asked. "um no not yet. he just started talking to me about it today so ill know more soon." "thats amazing ev. we're all very happy for you." calum said in a deep voice. i blushed. "thanks."

"what about you guys?" michael asked evan and coll. they looked at eachother then coll started talking. "i work at forever 21 the store." she chuckled. "i work in the vinyl store downtown." evan explained as she took a bite of her salad. "oh which one? i love shopping for vinyl." michael said excitedly. he likes her. i can tell.

"downtown vinyl." evan smiled. "ill have to stop in sometime.." michael smirked. evan blushed. i rolled my eyes then kept eating.

"ill be right back." i annouced once i got up and grabbed my handbag. "me too." calum said as he stood up, pushed his chair in and tossed his napkin on the table. i stopped and waited for him because he obviously wanted to talk to me. "what now calum." i slightly chuckled. he sighed which told me he was serious. "i saw what you did." he mumbled. my stomach dropped. "what are you talking about?" i asked trying to sound innocent. he knew i kissed luke. im screwed.

"the kiss evelyn. dont play stupid." i looked away from his death gaze. "you know, you're very confused evelyn because you say you're dating someone, but yet you still kiss your ex!" i sighed and rubbed my face in frustration. "calum its not like that. it was just an in the moment kiss it didnt mean anything." i lied. "you love him ev. we both know that." "no i dont calum. you're wrong." i looked away. "im right. but its fine. its your decision. who would you be happy with." i thought about his words for a second. i could start a new life with colin and get a good paying job that i might actually be happy with. or i could go back on tour with luke and be the happiest woman alive and living my life with the one i truly love.

"i cant choose this right now cal."  i sighed. "i know i know. just think about it. you have the rest of the month." he said as he slowly turned around amd walked back to our table. i sighed as tears slowly approched my stinging eyes. "what am i gonna do.." i sighed.

-

"thank you guys so much for dinner." colleen said as we all got up and began to leave. "you're very welcome guys. it was really nice meeting you two." ashton smiled a dimple-y smile at colleen and evan. they smiled back then we all walked out together. me and luke were the last ones of the group to step out of the reasurant so he pulled me aside silently. "listen evelyn, i really didnt mean to complicate things." "i know.. it was in the moment i get it." i sighed then tucked my hair behind my ear and looked up at the giant i used to love so so much.

"i meant what i said at the park.." he mumbled. "w-what?" i mumbled confused. "i.. love you evelyn. i dont think thats gonna change anytime soon." he whispered as he placed his cold hand on my face and gently stroked it. i sighed. "im sorry but its just the truth." he softly spoke as he kissed my head then left me standing in the cold brisk air with my jaw parted slightly.

i started walking slowly behind the group, thinking about the words that were recently spoken to me. Is he purposly trying to make my life more complicated? like jesus christ stop i have enough on my mind including you and your stupid lips.

"Ev! catch up! the car's over her dude!" evan chuckled as she yelled at me. i looked up then started quickening my pace. once i caught up, the boys hugged us goodbye then we parted ways. course, luke just stood there silently with his hands dug into his pockets, looking down.

"that was literally, so much fun ev. you should have them over again soon." evan said as she buckled up in the backseat. me and coll just looked at eachother and smirked. "have them over, or have michael over?" colleen laughed. evan kicked the back of her seat then folded her arms and sat back, chuckling.  "cmon did you at least get his number?" i asked. "as a matter of fact, i did." she said proudly. we all hollered and hooted for her then laughed. "geeeet itt e!!" coll sang. her face turned red as she laughed and shook her head.

"so we saw you and luke leave.." colleen said after we calmed down. i rolled my eyes. "what happened? did he smooch ya?" evan asked with an evil grin planted on her sassy face. "noo.." i trailed off. they gasped then coll slapped my arm. "you guys kissed didnt you!! dude what the hell?!" colleen yelled. "colin!?! hello?!!" she continued. "it was just in the moment and it meant nothing i swear guys okay. please please please dont tell colin. it was a mistake.." "fine we promise but youre evelyn! you cant just get together with a super hot guy, then kiss your ex when he comes back into town." evan pleaded. "i know." i sighed then lied my head down on my hand at a red light.

-

we arrived back home then evan just decided to stay because why not. she slept in coll's bed because they both knew i wasnt in a good mood really. thats what i love about them. they know their boundries because they've known me for so long and they knew what ive went through.

i brushed my teeth then got into comfy clothes and hopped into my warm, snuggly, bed. Then i got a text.

From: Luke
To: You

Can we actually talk about the kiss please. its been on my mind since it happened. i was thinking about it in the car, after dinner, now... i cant get it out of my head. well, i cant get you out of my head... i get that you have someone now but i really need to hear what youmre thinking. please..?

i layed back in bed and sighed. then my head went numb. i texted him back without even thinking then i got up and threw my jacket on and walked out the door.