Pinky Swear

Begin Again

May 2014

I was out of town when Tita Mozzy asked for my help. If there's one thing I learned about sa nangyari samin... Its never to be like him.

Alam ko yung pain, and kahit ganun nangyari samin, i dont want him to feel the same way I did. Pero minsan joke time talaga mga happenings namin sa buhay.

Kiefer needs a friend. Maybe ito na yung right time para maging friends kami. Its been what, three years na rin? Yes, 3 yrs since we broke up.

Pumunta ko agad kila Kiefer, ilang days na daw sya nagkukulong sa kwarto. Maybe ako lang daw makakausap sa kanya kaya di ko rin nahindian si Tita Mozzy.

*knock knock*

"Go away!"

*knock knock*

"Kief... Pls open the door.."

"Mika?! Mika ikaw ba yan?"

He immediately opened the door and hugged me while he's crying..

I cant believe im hugging him again. This hug.. This used to comfort me before, ngayon ako na nagcocomfort sa kanya.

Masakit sakin na nakikita syang ganto, oo gago sya. Pero never in my life na gugustuhin kong masaktan sya.

"Mika... Niloko ako ni Tin e. Ang sakit pala, ang sakit sakit. Nakakaloko yung pakiramdam parang gusto ko na mamatay"

"Shhh Kief, dont say that.. Friend ko talaga si Tin, biruin mo pinaghiganti nya ko sayo? Haha! Joke lang. Tahan na Kief, para ka ng caveman dito oh"

"Tama ka naman e, deserve ko to. Pano mo nakayanan dati, Mika? Ilang beses kita naloko pero anjan ka pa din? Sana katulad mo ko.."

Masakit makita na ganto sya.. Na umiiyak... Na dahil sa ibang babae.. Na kaibigan ko..

"Kasi kief.. Mas malaki yung love ko sayo kesa sa panloloko mo. Alam mo yun, tanga, martyr, ganun"

"Mika sorry... Hindi ko alam. Sorry... Sorry... Ang gago ko, sana di kita niloko, sana masaya pa rin tayo ngayon... Alam ko di ko na mababalik yun pero sorry Mika.."

"Okay na yun, Kief. Napatawad na kita. Matagal na. Ok? Ngayon, tumahan ka na kasi hindi ganyan yung Kiefer na gago na kilala ko"

"Thank you, Mika.."

I left his room nung sure na ko na okay sya..

I am now one step forward to being friends with him again, alam ko we dont share the same interests na pero i know na letting go of the grudges na Ive been holding is a good start..

Malaki yung possibility na magkikita kami ulit. No need for closure. Basta alam namin sa sarili namin na wala na talaga kami, whatever happens we'll always be part of each other's lives..

--

2015

Since last year, hindi na ulit kami nagkita..

And i know na we're better off this way..

Di ako magugulat kung one of these days, tatawagan na naman ako ng mama nya or bigla syang susulpot asking for my help or naghahanap ng kadamay..

Maybe hindi talaga kami, maybe we're destined to meet, help each other but never together.

He'll always be my lulubog-lilitaw friend, and by this time im sure na hindi ko na sya love the way I did before..

Because now, I love myself na..

Maybe chances are given to work things out, but for me, chances are given

to forgive..

To move on...

And to be better....