Night of January 29th.
+Dan Reynolds+
Aja and Arrow, they're laughing. So soothing to me. They're running around the backyard playing some fake game of soccer. I laugh at them and join in. I'm having a good time with them. I normally do, but today was a good day.
+Ben+
There she is! Its Maddie! I cry and run to her, but as soon as I try to latch my arms around her, she disappears. I fall on the floor, I look around and notice a TV. Its playing something. Its playing my memory of the day Maddie died. I watch it, sobbing through most. I don't know why I'm watching it, but I watch. It physically hurts. I feel as if I am shrinking. After that day ends, a bunch of videos of us together start playing. Like the time on that blast ride, the time I listened to her play, and going out to dinner. Many of those memories were pretty faded, but not anymore. They're all attacking me. It hurts, it really does. I miss Maddie more than anything. I still faintly smell her scent everyday. Warm Vanilla Sugar mixed with a little bit of mint. I bring her blanket on tour with me. I've had it for like over 10 years now. Its gone through hell with me. I still like to believe that the flowers on her grave are always fresh and lively. But I haven't seen it since before tour started. That's thing I did before I went to the airport. I set fresh roses on her grave. Soleil doesn't know about Maddie, but she deserves too.
+Sky+
Daniel keeps asking me what's wrong. The problem is, I have no idea. I have nothing to be sad about. I have the sweetest people ever, yet I'm sobbing. I'll be fine, I think to myself. I'm overreacting for such stupid reasons. The stupid reason is, I don't have one. Its been hard to breathe lately. Not that my nose was clogged, it was just physically hard to get enough oxygen. I didn't want to work for it. So, I didn't. I let myself drown in breathlessness. Putting a fake smile on my face, no one knew.
+ Wayne +
Insomnia, the reason I'm not sleeping and everyone else is. I haven't sleep for about three days. I mean, I've gotten a bit used to it over the years, but I truly believe it is physically damaging. Being in tour was such a problem with sleep, you get off that stage and its really hard to wind down. But, I haven't played in a few weeks. I'm just taking my time. I try not to force myself to sleep because it only makes it worse, usually. Today was very tiring. I've had a headache for the majority of today and nothing has made it go away.
(A/N ~ Read my other story I will not break you. This story will make a lot more sense if you do)
