L'Éternité et Aprés

VI. Because You Are Somehow Amazing

I'm sorry for not getting better. 

I'm sorry for getting bad grades. 

I'm sorry for being ugly. 

I'm sorry for not having friends. 

I'm sorry for hating my life. 

I'm sorry for wanting to die. 

I'm sorry for hurting myself. 

I'm sorry for being unlikeable. 

I'm sorry for not being good at anything. 

I'm sorry for wanting to be alone. 

I'm sorry for sleeping so much. 

I'm sorry for being a bad friend. 

I'm sorry for being a bad daughter. 

I'm sorry for being a bad sister. 

I'm sorry I changed. 

I'm sorry I can't change. 

I'm sorry for being unhappy. 

I'm sorry for being in pain. 

I'm sorry for wanting to end the pain. 

I'm sorry for watching you go. 

I'm sorry for being a failure.

*

Hey, haven't you heard of this saying: "I believe that we are who we choose to be. Nobody is going to come and save you. You've got to save yourself. Nobody is going to give you anything. You've got to go out and fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except you, and nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. So don't give up on your dreams."

Attempting suicide is the worst. You have problems, so does everyone. Solve it and don't ever think to escape from what's going on. Since it will only make the problems even worse and remain unsolved until the end of the world.

At the moment, you probably feel like there's no way out, and you've got nothing to look forward to, right? Isn't it because you are sick of rejection, bully, hurt or loss? Nobody treats you properly, or befriends with you? Think from a different perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope! Sure, I don't know you better than yourself do. But I know one thing: you have to deal with everything in your life first if you want to unlock the path which can bring you to happiness land.

They once said, "The red washing down the bathtub, can't change the color of the sea at all."

You're not weak, not even pathetic.

Always remember, 

People who tell you your ugly, won't make them pretty. 

People who tell you your dumb, won't make them smart. 

People who tell you to die, won't make their life any better. 

People can say what they want, but they will never take away your dignity and value. 

People are ignorant. Just pray the best for them who mistreat you. Don't spell a curse or take a revenge on them. God loves those who are forgiveful.

And you know... sometimes, being different isn't always a bad thing. "I love being called as different, because it makes me unique," said my fellow inspirational YouTuber from that channel named nigahiga.

I also highly doubt your ugly, your personality sounds amazing. Once you get out into the real world you'll bond with people just like you, you'll find people that share the same interests as you.

Who knows in the next one year, you'll be saying this: "Whoa, I don't realize there was a time that I was really depressed and wanted to commit suicide. I'm glad that I gave myself a chance to live on. Now, I had done so many things after I left my darkest years; I gain so many great friends who seem to love me the way I do to them, I travelled all countries in Europe with them, I went skydiving with them and I even get the most caring boyfriend I could ever ask for. God, I love my life."

You may think it's impossible to be happy being yourself or to be having a perfect happy ending. However, until you learn to accept who you are and work to address your flaws, you'll never grow as a person. How could you make other people to like you when you don't even proud of being your own self? Be confident & grateful, minimize your insecurities, accept constructive criticism, make a list of things you really like/enjoy to do, learn to laugh at yourself, forgive yourself, always thank people and just love yourself. You don't always have to be alone, you do need friends. Next blend in and follow the crowd. Sooner or later, they'll think that you're capable to be one of their best friend, the one who mean the world to them. They'll love you because you're you and that's what matters. Happiness relies on what you think.

It isn't as hard as you think, is it?

So, don't put your yourself down and keep your head up!