The Selection (Troyler AU)

♔Part XLIX♔

Wow I'm one chapter away from 50 I've already been last a new record of chapters from this story but just wowowowowowow this makes all of the one-shots I've done in the last few months seem t i n y in comparison (btw read my one-shots you guys seem to like angst it's perfect especially Who Knew).

Also I survived all the way until Thanksgiving break God fucking bless this week was so exhausting but I got A's on at least 2/3 of my major tests so far and I'll find out about the other one soon enough but I feel pretty good about it so there's that. Also I finally got my English grade up to 100%??? Extra credit is a miracle worker??? I went from 60% to 100%??? Holy shit??? (This now means that PE is my worst subject and honestly justice has never been served so beautifully).

Also I binged read a shit ton of Troyler stories which I haven't done in ages so I'd like to give a shout out to Bound by troyehaverly rn bc first of all Mandy is gials and secondly Bound is fucking amazing pls read it rn I cried laughing after midnight I loved it so much.

Two Hours Earlier

Tyler POV

I'm going to kill my father, I thought sullenly for what must've been the thousandth time within the last week, even since the footage of Ingrid and I kissing got leaked to the public.

I've been a recluse since the video got leaked. Of course, my father never confirmed or denied whether he knew about it, or whether he had a hand in letting it out, but there was no way in hell I'd put it past him at this point. As a result, I've been avoiding him at all costs, as well as . . . well, everyone else.

I haven't been able to find it in me to face Ingrid since it happened. It was consensual, and she didn't seem to have a problem with it, but I couldn't help but feel dirty for my actions. I knew it wouldn't have been this amazing thing that I'd be perfectly okay with, and I knew it wouldn't end up being something that I'd want to do again.

All I wanted to do was accept the only possible life I've been given, and get used to it before ultimately deciding that I'd rather it all be over than even give it a chance.

Still, after giving it a chance, I couldn't help but think that letting it be over would end my suffering much faster than trying to become something I'm not.

I shook my head, pushing my hair out of my face. I've hardly even left my bed since everything happened. I thought that the solitude would drive me crazy after a couple of days, but I can't remember the last time I'd felt so at ease. Since the Selection began, the only time I'd gotten to myself was really the late hours of the night, when I was asleep - or trying to sleep - especially since I eliminated everyone down to the Elite. My parents have left me alone (though who knows how long that'll last), Korey's been radio silent, and I haven't even allowed Connor to come in the mornings to help me get dressed anymore.

Hannah did visit me once, however.  It was brief, and she didn't have much to say, but she's by far the friendliest face that I've seen over the last few days.  I remember the first thing she asked me was if I was okay.  I merely shrugged, unsure of how I felt about anything anymore, but she seemed to have understood.  Still, she had pursed her lips the whole time she was here, carefully avoiding the entire subject.  I couldn't help but wonder if she was disappointed in me.

I know I was.

I groaned quietly, knowing that my thoughts were getting out of hand.  Being alone for so long must've been doing something to my mind, because there's been several incidents where my line of thought took a downward spiral with little even triggering it.  Each time, they would get more and more self-destructive, leaving me more confused about what I was going to do more than ever.