Ninjago texts

Cue Tragic Backstory (1)

This is sad. It's part one of three of the Cue Tragic Backstory series that goes into a more in-depth look at the untold stories of Nya, Cole, and Jay.
Nya: Jay, I know you'll never read this.
Nya: I know you blocked my number.
Nya: and I don't blame you. If the roles were reversed I would have done the same, probably a long time ago.
Nya: But I need to tell someone. I need to tell you, even if you won't listen.
Nya: When I was seven years old, my mother died. The police didn't tell us much, and our dad was so distraught we didn't ask him. Two years later, when I was nine and Kai was eleven, our father was also killed.
Nya: nobody wants to tell a kid that their parents were both murdered. But Kai and I, we know. We don't know why, we don't know how, we just know.
Nya: My brother and I were sent to live with our grandparents. Within 18 months, grandpa was found dead, killed by the Skeletons. Grandma went loopy after that. She called me my mother's name and had these horrible night terrors. We don't know what exactly happened to her, but when Kai was thirteen he went to wake her up and yelled to me to dial 911. I never saw Grandma again.
Nya: So my brother and I, we were left alone in the world. We were put in foster care, to Kai's great anger. I never grew close to any family, because I wouldn't let myself care about someone. I was paranoid they would die. Then, we were placed with the Collins family and my guard came down.
Nya: The Collinses were kind and loving and so open to us, not fazed by Kai's temper and my panic attacks. I didn't think I would ever feel loved again but in the time I spent with them I realized I thought wrong.
Nya: But my paranoia seemed to be based in fact. Angelica, who insisted I call her mom, was diagnosed with cancer. We thought she was terminal.
Nya: Marcus, the son, had problems of his own. We were close in age and close in personality, both smart, both odd, and both depressed. He was bullied, bullied badly. He talked about death all the time to me, wondered what it felt like. He spoke of violence and pain, of hurting himself, and I didn't stop him because that's what went through my head most of the time anyway. I blamed his morbidity on his mother's illness.
Nya: He showed me what cutting was and it became our way to control pain. He was my best friend, my foster brother Marcus, because he was the only one who understood. Kai didn't feel the sadness, I thought, he was only angry. But Marcus and I were similar in so many ways.
Nya: I knew he was getting worse, but I didn't stop it. I wanted Marcus to feel like I did so we could be the same. We cut matching smiley faces into our arms to remind ourselves to be happy. I still look at that scar and it only fills me with regret.
Nya: Marcus committed suicide on his fourteenth birthday.
Nya: I couldn't stay with the Collins family after that. Angelica's cancer receded, but everything reminded me of Marcus. His bedroom door. His favorite book, A Wrinkle in Time. His sister Meagan's blue eyes. Kai and I were alone once again, and I couldn't handle going to another family, not after everything that happened.
Nya: So Kai and I returned to the blacksmith shop when Kai turned sixteen and became my legal guardian. We lived there for another year, making armor and weapons. I went to therapy. Kai helped me. I improved. I managed to find myself, an intelligent, inventive, independent, passionate young woman, not the shell I once was.
I made a best friend in my village, Ayla.
Nya: The skeletons captured her entire family. I don't know if they survived.
Nya: The Skulkin were taking over Ninjago. I fought them. I was captured. Kai became a ninja and saved me. I met you.
Nya: I met you and I forced myself to stop looking. Every friend I ever had seemed doomed to an awful fate. But you made me laugh. You were the only person that could make me laugh. Your smile sent warmth through my body, your entire personality was too good to be true. I loved all your flaws and all your assets. And your eyes, well, they looked exactly like Marcus's.
Nya: I have a path of destruction in my wake. A tsunami of death, despair, heartbreak and pain, rushing at my heels. I had to push you out of the way before you were swept in too.
Nya: But it seems you were caught in the riptide.
Nya: Jay, you will never read this. But you told me you wanted honesty. This is the most honest I could be.
Nya: I'm sorry.
Nya: I'm sorry for everything.
Nya: I love you.
Nya: Goodbye.