Finding Myself

Stitches and Weed

I wake up and instantly look down to my fucked up arm. I see nothing but gauze wrapped around it. "That was a real fucking stupid move kid." Shay says pacing back and fourth. I look around GiGi is outside on the phone and Tommy is outside smoking a cigarette. "I-" "You could have fucking died B. Then what would I have done? I would have had no one! No fucking friend!" She screams at me. "Listen! I wouldn't have done this if it weren't for you and fucking Thomas! You should have never kissed him knowing I had fucking feelings for you!" I yell back. She was right I could have lost my life but honestly it's worth it for watching someone you love, love someone else. I don't think me and Shay could ever work after all we have two different mind sets. We yell for minutes while GiGi is on the phone. "It's not my fucking fault you just like to fuck every guy and girl in the fucking state!" I yell right in Shays face not meaning any of it but the thoughts in my head. She's just the one beautiful rose in my life I decide to pick up but I don't even realize she's deadly. She's the rose with the deadly poison on it and she's the reason I get pricked. Maybe it was my fault father always did tell me "be careful with who comes in you life." Shay looks at me tears in her eyes, broken then grabs her jacket. "I hope you're fucking happy with GiGi. Because even you know damn well she will never love you as much as I can. She will never amount to anything. Looks like you're following in her footsteps." With that Shay slams the door. Tommy and GiGi open the door, "What the fuck happened?" He questions me. "Nothing I just want to smoke okay?" I say grabbing my alien head bong and Pineapple Express. We start smoking and talking. It's one of those mellow talks, about life really. "Let's play some truth or confession or dare." GiGi takes a puff from her mushroom bong. "Okay I'll start it. Banana T, C, or D?" Tommy asks me. I burst out laughing. "Truth," I say. "Oooooh truth," GiGi echoes. "What happened when you spent the night at Shays?" Tommy asks taking a huge puff of his Rasta lion bong. "We made out, she kissed on my neck, and then she cussed you out," I say starting to chuckle. GiGi busts out into a roar of laughter. "That's it? She didn't fuck you? Just kissing?" GiGi says laughing near tears at this point. "Yeah." I say taking another puff. We continue with the game until it comes back to Tommy. "Truth, confession, or dare Gi?" He asks GiGi. "Dare," GiGi looks at him with her adorable daring look in her eyes. "I dare y'all two to kiss." He says pointing at both of us. GiGi leans in close, her hand under my chin and the other gripping my waist. It starts slow then slowly progresses with more tongue getting in the way of things than you can ever imagine. "Time for dinner," Shay busts through the door. We stop and get up. "And you call me the hoe," Shay makes a sly comment. We make our way to the kitchen where it smells like pasta and freshly brakes Italian bread. "Mamma la pasta ha un profumo fantastica!" I say hugging my mom and really taking a good whiff of the bread. "Non toccare niente finche ' non si lavare! Conoscete le regole Hannah." She smacks my hand before I could grab a piece of bread. GiGi laughs because she knows what my mother said. I walk to the bathroom and start washing my hands, then GiGi appears behind me. She moves my hair from over my neck, I feel her lips brush against it. She starts kissing my neck and tells me not to make a sound "Sssh your mom will hear," she says. I hear my moms footsteps and me and GiGi start laughing like we were talking about something funny. I'm still a little high but GiGi is a lot more high than me she smoked almost two pounds of loud and kryptonite. GiGi's eyes weren't read though she used a lot of eye drops. We all gather around the table for prayer. My dad starts the prayer "Caro Signore, ti prego, benedici questo cibo e le mani che prepararono. Signore ci impediscono di volere dal diavolo e ci impediscono di peccato." He continues to pray while me and GiGi and Tommy don't hold hands. We sit and listen to him pray when I feel something or someone's hand on my thigh. It's not on the top it's where the thigh gap I don't have is. Then it goes deeper. I look at who's hand it is, it's GiGi's. She's rubbing back and fourth. I try not to moan, so I just let out a cough. Then it flashes back to reality, and GiGi's hand is on my thigh and not between them.