Finding Myself

Drugs

I am taken home after more observations and tests, they proscribe some medicine for depression. "Hey y'all take her to my cabin," GiGi says opening the car door to Shays car. Tommy lays me in the backseat, then whispers in my ear "You're going to be okay kid." He kisses my forehead then shuts the door. I feel horrible, like I've just been hit by a semi. "Hey Hun. You're going to feel really shitty for the next 10 minutes until your meds kick in." Shay puts her sweatshirt on me, it's extra warm. "Shay," I say as I ran her arm. "Yeah?" She looks down at me. "I'm sorry. I love you," i say looking her dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry too. I love you too." She kisses my cheek and I fall asleep. Maybe I need to go back to church after all my first boyfriend does still live here. The drugs kick in faster than I know because I start to say things I don't mean. Tommy carries me inside of my cabin and lays me on my bed. He starts to walk off when I grab his arm, "Tommy come back. We should totally have round two." "Um B, that's like me taking advantage of you, you're all hopped up on meds. Maybe when you're feeling better babe." He sits down on the bed next to me. "Can you at least cuddle with me?" I ask looking up at him. "Yeah sure but just until you fall asleep," he smiles then crawling to my side and wrapping his over me. He's warm like a blanket and soft like a huge teddy bear. It hits me his birthday is in two days and I should definitely plan something special. There's a knock at the door, it's my mother. Tommy starts to get up when I grab his shirt " she can wait," I groan. I pull him in and kiss him. We kiss for a couple of seconds before my mom starts knocking harder. "Open up Hannah!" She yells. Tommy smiles at me then opens the door. "Tommy why are you in here with Hannah?" She asks looking down at me laying down on the bed. "She was feeling sick so I am taking care of her," he says with his voice deepening. He now sounds really manly and I see him look my mom in the eyes. "What's that smell? It smells like weed in here," my mom sniffs the air. "I think Hannah needs some rest Mrs. Fitzgerald." He steps outside to talk to her. They talk for minutes as I stay inside and lay there feeling numb. I see her burst into tears and hug him tight. He may have told her about my condition and I know she worries enough already. He holds onto her rocking her to sooth her hurt soul. She thanks him for taking care of me and then she walks off. He walks inside and sits down at the table, he puts his face in his hands. I slowly get up and stumble my way over to him, and sit next to him. He looks at me face soaked, eyes bloodshot, pain in his face. I wipe his tears away and look him in his eyes. We start talking about how he feels and he tells me he's glad he has me. I get up and sit in his lap hugging him tightly. He looks me in my eyes then looks at my lips. We both lean in and kiss. We go and lay back down and start cuddling again. "I don't want to ever lose you," he says rubbing my back as I drift off to sleep.