Finding Myself

Rape

After church we are invited to Vinny's party at his new house. Vinny is stupid rich because his dad is apart of the Gambino crime family in the Mafia of Italy. Vinny looks and talk just like his father and I'll admit Vinny is a smooth talker. We make are way over to Vinny's huge house. Me and Tommy ride in the same car while Shay rides with GiGi because not everything has been sorted out. We pull up to his house im definitely ready to party. I know I'm only 18 but I'm sure as hell going to drink. I walk inside and instantly find myself indulging in the snack table. It has a bunch of chocolate covered pretzels and Reese's cups. "Is it weird you're fucking cute as hell when you're stuffing your face?" "She does look real cute," GiGi agrees with Tommy. I smile and finish swallowing the pretzel. Vinny walks over greeting everyone, except me. "Hey babe I'm going to the kitchen to get us drinks, I'll be back," Tommy says smiling at my weirdness and then walking off. I feel a warm pair of hands grip around my waist. Then the person whispers in my ear, "Damn, I'd like a bite of that." In my head I think it's Tommy but I have a strong feeling it's not. I turn to see Vinny Gambino smiling at me. "I have a boyfriend you do know that right?" I ask looking confused at him. "And where is he to stop me?" Vinny smiles. He was right, Tommy was nowhere in sight to come and be my Superman. "Exactly," he says stepping closer. "Why don't later we get out of here and go visit the cliff?" He says moving the hair away from my eyes and placing it behind my ear. "How about I call 911 and file charges for sexual harassment," I smile at my witty comeback to him. Me and him talk for minutes discussing Italy and how I plan to move back after I move out. I notice after about ten minutes Tommy hasn't came back yet, he's probably smoking outside with the fellow potheads. "Hey you want a drink?" Vinny asks walking me over to the kitchen. "Uh yeah that'd be great," I say smiling in a nice way. We walk into the kitchen and I see Shay she's alone with headphones in sitting on the counter. I walk over and sit next to her and grab her phone. She's listening to "Here" by Alessia Cara. I smile because I honestly love the song but don't know why she's being such a wallflower. I take out a headphone and whisper in her ear "You should totally come over after the party." She giggles and agrees with me. We talk for a couple of minutes until Vinny walks over. He passes me my drink, a vodka Sprite mix. "Thanks," I let out a soft sigh of relief. I start drinking it the second I get it. I'm not going to lie this actually tastes pretty dang good. After a while me and Vinny get into deep conversations about life and death. I admit he's an amazing looking Italian man with a great sense of humor. "Hey babe," Tommy huffs walking up and kissing me. I laugh but not knowing myself what was so funny. I don't let go of Tommy but continue to kiss him, not wanting to let go. "Hey we're in public." Tommy smiles holding onto my hand to make me let go of his shirt. I smile and giggle for minutes at a time. I think I just may be drunk at this point. "Hey I have a room upstairs I think it's empty she can most definitely crash there." Vinny says sweetly offering me his room. Vinny is so sweet to do that he didn't have to. Vinny helps me up off the floor and up the stairs. We eventually make it to his room after five thousand stumbles up the stairs. "Here we are," he says smiling at me. There's something about his smile that makes me happy. He lays me on the bed softly. I look up at him and smile. "Where's Tommy?" I complain looking around the room. I can't really stand my legs feel weak. "Sssssh lay down babe," Vinny says laying me back on the bed. Vinny takes off his shirt, he's nothing but muscles. He starts kissing me, but I say "No!" He continues then unzips my pants and pulls them down. I try getting up but he does nothing but push me back down. He pulls down his pants then proceeds to his underwear. I try screaming for help but my voice cracks with a raspy tone. I try kicking and fighting my way out of this situation. "Stop! Or I swear I will kill you!" He screams then pins me down. I don't fight it at this point. I kiss him back, not meaning to. I scratch and claw his back as he kisses down my neck. He puts it in slowly and starts. I scream in pain hoping someone will hear me. He keeps going not slowing down, he smiles a evil horrible smile. His lips trace down to my hips and kiss slowly, digesting every scream I make. Tears stream down my face as he kisses more than one spot. Is this it was I being raped?