Finding Myself

Having you for breakfast

I wake up from of course another black out. Once again like last time everything is a haze. I look up and I'm laying on GiGi, she's wearing a huge shirt and underwear. I feel warm, comfortable, something I haven't felt in a long time, happy. I fall back asleep not even realizing it. I wake up once again, but this time it's different. GiGi wasn't there, she wasn't in the comfortable spot under me, it was now cold. I get up slowly, looking around then it hits me, the sweet smell of pancakes and chocolate chips. I get up realizing I'm only in my sports bra and underwear, maybe I should get dressed. No, who am I kidding GiGi won't care. I walk upstairs to the kitchen, she didn't notice. I walk up behind her slowly making sure the floor doesn't creek. Then I scare her, it happens with a snap. She grabs the knife, spinning and cutting my cheek. "Shit B, I didn't mean to cut you," she says looking guilty. "Is it bad?" I ask. "Nothing we can't fix," she says wiping the blood with her thumb then putting it in her mouth. "Hey I need some cinnamon and thickly sliced bread. Can you go to the store for me babe?" She asks as she continues to cook. Wait, am I going bananas or did she just call me "babe." That's adorable, but I honestly don't like her like that. "Yeah, sure." I get up and start putting on clothes. I put on my shoes and she hands me a list of things I need. I walk out the door, it's warm and feels amazing. I get in the car we leave here every year, it's a Camaro that's painted midnight blue. I drive to the nearest store and start grabbing the things I need. I walk down an ail to look for thickly sliced bread and I find it. "Hey B, rough night last night huh?" Tommy asks grabbing the same thing I am. "Hey yeah, it was crazy." I say. "Shay making you breakfast?" "Is GiGi making yours?" He asks in response to my question. "Exactly," he says grabbing me a package of the bread then him one. I finally purchase all the stuff and head out of the store. "See you back home B," he says giving me that half grin smile I sadly urned for. "Yeah see you," I say winking at him. Was I seriously flirting with the guy that broke my heart? It hurt so bad but now I'm winking at him and biting my lip at the thought of him. I make it back to the house and head down the trail to me and GiGi's place when I notice something. Shays dirt bike parked out front. I look at the window on the second floor which leads to the kitchen. I see GiGi against the window shirtless pants-less. Everything hurts, my head, my stomach, my.... heart. I could make out the faint image of who had her against the window it was Shay. Shay was taking the one thing I had good going for me and she wanted her all to herself. I feel the hatred the anger the hurt all come into play. Then I look up again and it's just GiGi cooking just the way I left her. It was just my mind playing dirty tricks on me. I walk upstairs after entering the mini cabin. "Hey sugar, I'm-" I kiss her cutting her short of anything she had to say. At this point I didn't realize I backed her up into the window. She clenches the back of my sweatshirt while we kiss for minutes. "What's gotten into you?" She asks. I might have zoned out, I see Shay out the window staring back at me. This is the most hurt she's ever been. I don't talk I just stare at Shay while I kiss on GiGi's neck. Not just kissing but French kissing. GiGi let's out a moan and grabs my back hard. I can see Shay burst into tears then she storms off. I make my way up back to her lips. They feel softer and taste like.... Shay's. Maybe that wasn't a dream, maybe Shay was here. GiGi does smell like her.