may shatter on impact (tronnor)

80. Letters & Love Tyler and Troye

I carry the box back to Kayla's, where she sits at her desk, the computer open to Skype.

" - That's great!" Kayla says to the screen, not noticing me, in my hidden position by the door.

"Yeah, I'm excited."

"What's the play?" I smiled, happy for whoever was on the other end of the call - it sounded like he was cast in a play,.

"It's called 'The Why'." Kayla freezes, as if she's stopped breathing - she recognizes the play, she knows something. "By Victor something-a-rather. Have you heard of it?"

"H-have you read the summary? Do you...do you even know what it's about?"

"Not really," the boy on the other side of the screen says. I recognize that voice now. Chris Kendall, the boy who had run outside to let the police in. "Why? Do you know it?"

Kayla nods, looking away from the screen, down at her hands, at the pencil by the side of her laptop, anywhere but to Chris.

"Kayla?"

"Y-yeah. I know it."

"What's it about?" I can hear the worry in his voice.

"I-it's about a guy. W-who k-kills his class - his c-classmates."

I stumble backwards, staying silent, letting my footsteps echo into the room, causing Kayla to look up and turn towards the door.

"Oh my God," Chris mutters. "Oh - "

"I - I have to go," Kayla mutters, and with a click and a beep, Chris has been shut out of the house. Kayla takes a deep breath, straightening out her shirt and her hair and her thoughts and calling my name. "T-troye? Is that you?"

I step out from behind the shadow of the door, not meeting her eyes. "Y-yeah. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to - "

"It's fine, Tro. What - what are you holding?"

I look down at the box in my hand, having almost forgotten that I was holding it.

"It's a box."

"Yeah, no shit."

I sigh and sit on her bed, setting the box on my lap and opening it. The final traces of dirt come off on my fingers, not changing the already muddy color of my fingernails.

"Don't - don't put that on my bed," Kayla mutters, taking the box cover and putting on the ground by my feet then sitting next to me. She picks up the letter and begins to read out loud.

I tune out her words until there are tears on her cheeks and she's gotten to the part I hadn't been able to get past.

"We are very happy here, even though there are some very mean people like J-julian. If you meet him then you should not trust him. He is evil! We both hope that you do not meet him." Her voice is strong, unwavering, despite the tragic look on her face and the tears hanging on the edge of her eyelashes like snowflakes on the edge of a tree branch, about to fall, but until they do, they're just holding on. "But there a-are also some nice people in Clarke Lake. Like our four parents and also Kayla and Jason. They are very nice. Maybe you will meet them."

I don't think that I've ever seen Kayla cry.

"They can also be scary. Troye's daddy has a big gun that he uses to hunt sometimes. We think that one day he will let us try it! We - we're g-going to be p-pirates with s-swords and guns and t-treasure one day, too!"

"We're g-g-going to be good...good pirates and use our g-guns to help p-people."

Our tears mask the last words that she reads, turning them into a cacophony of sorrow.

"L-love Tyler and Troye."

who's crying yet i know i am