may shatter on impact (tronnor)

33. Rain & Sleep

Nora fell asleep on the blue blanket, curled up with her hands under her cheeks, her face peaceful in a way that I don't think I've ever seen it before. Dan and Phil are still in the water, wrapped up in each other's arms and watching the sunset. Zoe lays next to Nora, her hands crossed across her stomach, staring at the darkening sky. Connor and I sit together, a few feet away from the blanket.

"Thank God for Zoe's cooking skills, these cookies are amazing," Connor says, laughing. I take one from his hand, beginning to eat my third one - Zoe's cookies are delicious.

We stare at the ocean, the waves crashing against rocks in the distance, sailboats swaying in the wind and the rolling waves, the rapidly disappearing sunlight hitting the ocean and bursting into sparkles and gold and blue and flickers of yellow and of green.

I finish the cookie, leaning back on my hands, my arms pushing against Connor, our eyes steadily not looking at each other. He gives up on staring at the water, laying back and leaving his arms against the sand. I copy him, pressing closer than is necessary and ignoring Zoe laughing. Connor's face is red and my heart is beating too fast, but I look over at him anyways.

His face is perfectly sculpted, his eyes closed and tired and peaceful. His hair is tossed around by the wind, mixed up with sand and the last droplets left by the ocean.

The first drops of rain fell without warning, sticking on my hair, landing on Connor's cheeks like tears, landing on Zoe's eyes. Zoe got up with a shriek, waking up Nora and making Connor and I run over to her.

"Sorry," she laughed. "I thought it was a spider."

I laugh and stuck out a hand, catching the droplets of water in my palm. "W-we should probably get going, huh?"

Connor sighed. "Probably. I don't want to leave, though..."

Dan and Phil joined us then, nodding in agreement.

"The school would probably kill us if we get back too late, though, and it's practically dark already."

"Let's go then," Connor sighed.

Nora stood up. I helped her fold up the blanket, the wind tossing it around and us laughing when we finally got it together. Zoe grabbed the now empty basket and followed Nora and I up to the car. Dan and Phil had already claimed the two back seats, and Nora had settled into the shotgun seat by the time that I had packed the blanket away between whatever other boxes Zoe's Mom kept in the back for some reason. Zoe was the only one who knew the way back to the school, so she sat in the front with Nora, who already had 5 Seconds of Summer playing.

Connor climbed into the far middle seat and I followed him, buckling the seat belt and, realizing there were princess stickers all over my window, settled for watching Connor stare out of the window.

The corners of his lips were tilted upwards, and his eyes were bright but closing; he was obviously falling asleep. Every few minutes he was jolt awake again, blinking his eyes and fixing his gaze on the colors passing outside. Behind us, Dan had fallen asleep on Phil's lap while Phil ran his fingers through his hair. Nora had her head against the window, sleeping again, while Zoe blinked sleep out of her eyes easily and focused on driving.

Connor sat on his legs, his hair ruffled upwards in a sort of quiff, his face relaxed in it's almost sleep. It was like any and all worries had left him, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, like his soul had been bared and the world loved it.

He's beautiful.

Zoe pulled up to the school a little bit later, Connor, Nora, and Dan, fully asleep.

"Someone's going to have to wake them up," Zoe whispered.

Phil looked down at Dan and smiled before shoving him off of his lap, causing Dan to wake up with a jolt and a glare. "Really? You couldn't have woken me up in any other way? Phil."

Phil only laughed.

Zoe chuckled at the two of them, pushing on Nora's shoulder until Nora was similarly glaring at the one who had disturbed her from her sleep. Zoe didn't feel bad at all. "You had to wake up eventually," she said, as Nora got out of the car.

"C-connor," I said loudly. "Connor."

He only shifted, turning to face me in his sleep, leaning on the seat head instead of the window. He mumbled something incomprehensible as he slept, wrapping his arms around his knees and resting his head on his hands.

"CONNOR."

He mumbled something again, "Troye."

I frowned - he just said my name in his sleep. Connor, what the fuck are you dreaming about?

"Um, Connor," I tried again, tapping the top of his head. "Connor, wake up. We're here."

This time, he seemed to wake up a bit as I spoke. He blinked, his eyes still glazed over with sleep. He sat up, seeming to realize that Nora, Dan, and Phil had already gone up to their dorms, and Zoe was just waiting for him to get out so she could drop me off and then go home.

He blushed as he looked at me. "We're here?"

I snorted at how oblivious he could be to his surroundings sometimes. "Yeah. Zoe's going to go drop me off at my house now, I think."

"Yup," Zoe confirmed from the front seat, where she was sending a text to someone.

"Okay," Connor mumbled, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door, the cold air outside rushing in and waking us all up. "Uh, see you on Monday, Troye," he said, louder. "See you, Zoe," he added as an afterthought before closing the door.

"See you."

Zoe started the car and turned on the headlights. "That was fun, huh?"

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah, it was."

"You and Connor spent a lot of time together."

"Yeah, we did..." I said, not quite sure where she was going with this.

Fortunately, she wasn't exactly subtle with anything she said next. "You like him?"

I blinked. "Um..."

"You don't have to answer right away, and you don't have to tell me anything." she said quickly, "But I can see the way he looks at you when you aren't looking. I don't think he even realizes it himself, but I was just...just wondering. You don't have to - "

"Zoe, i-it's fine, I don't mind."

She nodded and we drove the rest of the way to my house in silence.

But judging from the way that she smiled after that conversation, she realized what I meant by not answering the question.