I spend the next day in Connor's dorm because it's too silent in my house, without another person in there, without another child, without another person who knew what a gun could do.
He's forced hot chocolate into my hands and a blanket around my shoulders and everyone else to leave. They give me sad looks as they do, Dan hugging me awkwardly, Pj hugging me, sending all his warmth and compassion and his way with words twisted into happy endings into me, trying to convince me that everything would be alright. Adam just nods at me, and for him, that counts as empathy, I think.
Not that any of it helps.
Connor sits by my feet, sipping at his own hot chocolate slowly, leaning against my leg.
"I love you," I whisper.
Connor smiles. "I love you, too."
We sit in silence for a second, resting against each other, letting the other breathe for us, letting the sound of our chests rising and falling fill up the room.
"Connor?"
"Mmhmm?"
"Do you still think you have no future?"
"Well it's true," he says, looking up at me. "Why?"
"You should start a YouTube channel."
He blinks. "Like that thing Phil and Pj do?"
"Yeah," I tell him quietly. "It's practically free and you like video work and things, and you're good at making people happy."
"I am?"
"Well, you make me happy."
note: everything after "I love you, too." was written december 1
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may shatter on impact (tronnor)
Fanfic[COMPLETED] NaNoWriMo 2015 - "My heart skips a beat and all the careful precautions and burned photographs and the pretense of safety and normalcy is shattered, oh God what have I done?" Troye Sivan is running from a past that he's still livin...
