The Dead Girl with a Heartbeat: Inside my Mind

May 2011

05-08-11 May 8th, 2011 --AGE 12--

It's been so long since I last updated this diary! Almost one month! So much has happened and a few things have changed. I had some sleepovers with Aaliyah! It was so fun and it was kind of weird because her family is Polish and I couldn't understand what her parents were saying when they yelled at her , ha ha!

 I also had another sleepover,. but this time with Aaliyah and Anne. It was a really great sleepover. We did ouija boards, talked for a long time, dressed ourselves up and went on omegle for laughs... and so much more. 

I hope we can do that again soon! 

   I went to the respite camp again and [my favorite worker] was there and actually remembered me! I pretended to be bulimic (stupid idea, I thought it would be funny somehow?) , they called Mom and Kurt (my stepdad) ,  and now everyone thinks I'm throwing up my food! Ugh way to go. idiot!

     I'm really good friends with Alexis again.  We hang out all the time and waste the city bus's time by pretending to get on and then running away! We prank called Kids Help Phone many times and do other rebel things ha ha!

   I've been getting in so much trouble at school for the most stupid of all things. We had a supply teacher on Wednesday or Thursday last week  and I drew a fruit basket with two oranges and a banana. Tania gave it to the supply teacher as a joke. As soon as she saw it, she wasn't too thrilled. She was very mad and wouldn't give the drawing back to me when I asked.  I knew she would give it to the principal, ugh. 

The principal, I won't say her real name, but everyone calls her Mrs.Fuckinato,  was literally SCREAMING at me. Students from the opposite end of the school came up to me later, telling me they heard the principal yelling at me! I am not exaggerating one bit. I was crying so hard and I was so mad and felt so humiliated. And it wasn't just about the fruit basket. I've been really into Ouija boards again and I got everyone else kind of into ghosts and stuff a few months ago, right, so we all do the ouija board at recess. We are catholic and know it's bad and dangerous but we make sure to pray and tell the spirits we mean no harm or disturbances. 

The entire staff at the school hates me so much. I am on the verge of getting my safety patrol to Canada's Wonderland trip revoked. And I've been so excited to go, everyday I think about it. I dream about it every night! I know that seems obsessive but whatever I just want to go sooo bad it's killing me. And I don't know what the hell I'd do if I wasn't allowed to go after all this work as a safety patroller. 

After Mrs.Fuckinato shouted at me for a good twenty minutes, I returned to the classroom when it was the end of the school day and mostly everyone was gone. I was so angry about what had just happened, I started to throw chairs around the classroom, screaming and crying. Mrs.Esponito casually told me to just "calm down" and "take a deep breath". I was actually surprised how calm her tone was. I guess she's worried about becoming stressed , because she is pregnant...

 I had an appointment with my pediatrician , Dr.Padamandan (Let's just call her Dr.P!)

Mom told her about my eating problems because Mrs.Esponito had emailed her telling her that I hadn't eaten for about three days. Dr.P said it was nothing to worry about unless I lose a lot of weight or get really sick,. She said it's just my way of handling things.  Well thank god anyway because it got Mom off my case. 

96 LBS. 

The weather has been awesome . Feels like summer now! Last night, I went to the fair with Mona and her friend, Peyton. I loved the ride "Freak Out" and the Zipper. This is getting me so excited to go to Wonderland on June 8th!! I can't wait. 

Today is Mother's day, and Mom is actually being a selfish b.. about it.