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The Dead Girl with a Heartbeat: Inside my Mind

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Follow the journal entries in the life of a girl from age twelve to age fifteen. The awful ups and downs of her life caused her to become weak, and self harm. Eventually she tried to kill herself. She moves from place to place, hospital to hospital...

#addiction #adhd #adventure #alone #anger #anxiety #attempt #away #better #borderline #bridges #christmas #crash #crazy #cut #cutting #death #depression #diary #disorder #disordered #drama #dysfunctional #eating #emergency #entry #evil #facebook #fail #family #february #friends #gain #getting #girl #hacking #happy #harm #hate #health #heartbeat #hospital #hospitalization #hurt #illness #injury #inspiration #intervention #issues #journal #july #kill #lies #life #march #may #mental #mental-health #mind #mother #obsessions #october #past #personal #pig #police #pounds #problems #psychiatry #psychological #real-life #reality #recovery #rehabilitation #relapse #remarried #run #runaway #runaways #school #self #self-discovery #self-harm #self-injury #sleepover #social #starve #stepmother #story #stress #struggle #stupid #suicidal #suicide #summer #survive #suspension #teen #treatment #trouble #troubled #true #unit #want #weight #world #youth

October 2010

151 6 0

by avidpuzzler

by avidpuzzler

10-10-10 October 10th, 2010 -AGE 12-

Dad got remarried today. I hate wearing dresses. I was really nervous being there because of all the people. It was really hot in the dinner and dance hall, so I kept going outside for fresh air. Grandma said she doesn't want me to get kidnapped or something, so she sat outside on a bench with me. The most awkward part was when Dad and Mary kissed, that was the first and only time I've ever saw them kiss. So awkward. The most funniest part was when my one and half year old brother accidentally ran into a glass door. It must've hurt but everyone had a good laugh!

10-13-10 October 13th, 2010

I didn't want Mom to find out about it. But she did. She hacked my Facebook account and messaged everybody from Mary's family, saying all of the bad things my Dad has done in the past! I can't believe she did this! Now everybody blocked me from Dad's family and Mary's family. This is not fair!!

10-15-10 October 15th, 2010

Mom has been running around the house screaming like a crazy woman for the past few days since she found out. I just want her to shut up about it! She's saved the picture of me wearing that stupid dress. I saw it on her computer. When I was sleeping... she took my ipod and somehow got through the passcode lock. I can't trust her with anything! I am so angry at home and at school I just want mom to shut up! To make matters worse, she keeps threatening me that she's going to call the police and say that Dad commited a crime: Bigamy. Apparently they didn't divorce before Dad married Mary, but Dad says otherwise. I am sick of hearing two sides of this story. I don't know who I'm supposed to trust. And I don't want dad to go to jail. Mom is ruining my life along with dad's and it's not fair. I was so angry that I used my pocket knife to carve words on my upper arm. It says 'fat pig' . I was really scared because it didn't stop bleeding for a long time! I shouldn't have done that!