The Dead Girl with a Heartbeat: Inside my Mind

June 2011

This is where things went really bad...

06-08-11

No idea why I keep forgetting to update this diary on my iPod, and a lot has happened over the past month. 

Shane went to the ER with severe abdominal pain and had his appendix removed. Lots of hangouts Anne and Aaliyah. 

Mrs.Fuckinato  never believes anything I say and she called me the "boy who cried wolf" Okay one, I'm not freaking lying you fat wh... ! And two, I'm a girl, so get it right if you are going to try to put me down! Her favorite phrase seems to be 'Mhm, I'm so sure." Like what kind of principal does this to a student?

   Oh and Aaliyah went to Florida for two weeks. I missed her a lot ! But something strange happened, because she came back a totally different version of  Aaliyah She stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. We talked it out.. kind of.. and hung out yesterday. Mrs.Esponito had her baby on May 11th, 2011, named Noah! 

   We have a new teacher for the remains of the year, Mr.Cannon. All the girls think he looks like Ryan Reynolds and they are so ditsy and giggly around him. Like what the hell , lol. I seem to be the only one NOT obsessed with him. He's kind of nice and funny, but it depends on the situation. Overall, I guess he's .. meh. Whatever. I could care less.

   Last night Aaliyah randomly ditched me while we were hanging out. I had to go, alone, into her house to get my school bag. Awkward.

   I have a major social crisis right now. I made a fake account on Facebook named Sasha Noonin. I only made it so I could stick up for myself and send a message to Isaiah, the guy in grade eight that I really hate because he called me fat, and messaged me on Facebook saying "nobody likes you". So once I made the account, I don't know why but I started adding like, eight hundred people in [my  city]  Stupid idea. Alexis told EVERYBODY. Now everybody laughs at me and calls me Sasha Noonin. Everybody has been avoiding me since , it seems. 

    Oh and speaking of Alexis, she slept over at my house recently. We had fun and we watched Orphan, made funny Youtube videos, played with Brownie, prank called people, and much more funny things. But in the morning, she got really bitchy at me. Whiny, childish and immature. She stormed out of my house, whining like a two year old, for no apparent reason. She didn't even say thanks. Good thing I hacked her MSN account and Facebook. Karma!

 Anne moved houses and she got a new dog! I'm so happy for her,  but I'm so mad because all the safety patrollers went to Wonderland today. I have been suspended from school.I have been anticipating this day, every single day, for the last freaking year! But at the last minute Mrs.Fuckinato decides to take this opportunity away from me!I worked so hard being a safety patroller, what a waste of time! They are all at Wonderland now, without me, having a blast. Mom is being a bitch and Kurt was shouting at me also. I'm planning on running away tomorrow. I've never run away before and I don't know where I'd go and what I'd do, all I know is that I can't do this anymore.

I hate my life and nothing has been going right for a long time.

06-09-11 June 9th, 2011

 I feel so trapped. So alone. Controlled by everybody around me. I started cutting myself again. On my legs this time. Anne and Aaliyah noticed when I came to school with cuts on me. I told them everything, how I feel and my plan to run away. They actually started crying! I felt bad to make them cry over me, but I still need to leave. I need to take control and stop ruining everybody's life with every move I make and every word I speak. I'm ruining my own life along with everyone elses. Every move I make shoves me deeper into the never ending tunnel of depression. I don't know how  much more I can take!