Faking Reality- Jian

Kian's POV Continued

"J.C. I barley actually know you and honestly I don't know why I am telling you all of the crazy things that have happened to me and why I was actually running but something inside me is telling me that I need to because to be honest, you're the first person in a really long time who has asked me about what is actually happening with me and is focussing on me as a person and not on how messed up and fucked up I really am. I suppose I should start off with saying that I am actually gay and before you ask, no I haven't come out at all. You're actually the first person I have told and this is actually the first time I have admitted this to someone. And for me, this begins a lot of the other questions that you asked me when you walked in. Why I was seeking freedom is because I have incredibly serve depression caused by constant abuse from my parents as my father is an alcoholic and my mother is a coward who runs and hides and also I sustain constant abuse from my peers both inside and outside of school. For me on a daily basis, I am taunted, chucked into rubbish bins and then at home, I come home to my mother being abused by my father or my father turning up in the middle of the night completely drunk and with this, he becomes more abusive until my day starts all over again. I suppose from this, you can sort of understand why I needed to escape and why I didn't move when you drove into me. When you did run into me, I had been running from everything for nearly a week as my mother had found a box beneath my bed that held pills, a knife and a suicide note encase I was to go through with suicide. And yes before you ask, I have had the urge to do suicide and to actually go through with it just to see everything around me tumble and crash as I finally slip away. To be quite honest with you, I do thank you for saving me in one way but in another way, I do hate you for doing it as well even though I know it was with good intentions just because all I have ever wanted was to escape and to be free from everything and that really restricted me. However, thank you for actually caring enough to stay with me and to drive me here and thank you for actually caring about me enough to ask if I am okay instead of focusing on my issues like everyone else. Honestly this is basically what I am running from and I am really sorry but this is my life and I can't change it."