I'm still overthinking this. I'm still thinking what if I turn around right now and I go back to J.C. I'm still thinking about what if I don't go through with this. Maybe I can go home to J.C and I can fight this. Maybe I can go home and J.C can help me think clearer. But then what if J.C has walked away. What if J.C doesn't take me back. Honestly what if I will be alone and be in this place once more. And I know that this is a place I honestly don't want to be in. A place that is encasing my mind. A place that has destroyed the Kian that I created. And a place that has ruined my life. So maybe I need this. Maybe I need to go through with this. Maybe this is where my life was always heading. And maybe this was always my destiny. To use the coward's way out to find peace and escape. Maybe this is what I was supposed to do. Maybe this is finally it. And I know that as I take these pills and I lie down, I know that there is no turning back this time. Because I am finally going to slip away and I am finally going to be free even though J.C is not here. And as I feel my last thought run through my mind before a white light begins to flash, I know I am thinking of J.C and I know that I am finally gone and this time I won't be coming back. He changed my life so much but I just couldn't do it anymore. When I reached the light, I know that he's slipped away from me and I know at this moment that I am finally gone and I am finally at peace. And I suppose that's all I really wanted in my life. All I really wanted was freedom and peace and even though I lost J.C, I know I have that along with the love that J.C gave me and in this moment, I know that for once in my life, I am completely happy and I am finally Kian.
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Faking Reality- Jian
Fanfiction"I feel as if I'm running back to where I started. You ask what's wrong with me and I say nothing. Is everything okay? Is something wrong with me? Pushing and pulling feelings. Eternal my heart is yours. I feel as if I'm running. I feel as if I'm ru...
