Faking Reality- Jian

The Hunt: J.C'S POV

Do you ever wonder what will happen when you are lost and taken away from the person you love with your whole heart and then you re-connect like it was only yesterday that you last saw them? To be honest, I wish I could say that when I found Kian or rather, when Kian found me, that it happened in this way but I honestly can't.  Maybe it was the shock of actually finding Kian in a place like this or maybe it was the shock of actually seeing my beautiful, amazing boy after so long but something felt different. And to be honest with you, I don't understand why it felt so different. I suppose when you meet the love of your life, it should feel right but with Kian in this moment, it didn't. It felt like we were strangers and it felt like I didn't know him. Maybe it's just my mind telling me that Kian is different because he finally gave in and he's more at peace or maybe it's something that is inside me that's changed after I made the decision to give up and to follow Kian. Maybe I was blinded by the fact that I needed someone in my life and I needed someone to show me love and to give me love and maybe at the time before I died, it was Kian that provided that and maybe after he left and he made his decision, the time we had a part may of made us stronger than we both realized and made us able to stand on our own two feet and find our ways. Or maybe it wasn't meant to be. Honestly I don't want to believe any of these possibilities but after a few questions from Kian, I am starting to believe that maybe I actually made a mistake and maybe I should of let him slip away and allowed myself more time on earth to grow and develop. Maybe is a stupid concept but to be quite blunt, it's something that I am holding onto as I re-meet Kian and I start to understand why. But then something shakes me out of my maybes and this stupid concept and I understand fully why it felt so difference and why it felt like we were strangers. And all it took was one kiss to change everything.