One More Night (Niall Horan)

Chapter Fifteen: Different

“Would you mind if I recorded Thinking Of You? As a record for the album?” I ask Niall, we were still lying across the sofa, “I mean, you’ve got to admit it was a good song.” I joke, trying to get him to smile. His face was emotionless, and that’s what scared me.

“Go ahead.” He says and I cheer quietly, “If.” He warns, and then sits up, forcing me to sit up too. “Just tell me, I can’t handle it anymore, who was the song about?”

Why did he have to ask this?

“I don’t know.” I say and he groans.

“I know him don’t I? Who was it?” He asks, sounding more desperate than before.

I don’t know how he’d react, what was I supposed to say to him? Oh yeah, it was your band mate, you know, the one who you consider your brother?

“I mean, I don’t know.” I say without a second thought. “Ni, I got downstairs after I’d just caught you cheating and I just wanted to forget about it all. So I drank, then I woke up in a bed…” I trail off. “I didn’t even look at him I just got up and left.”

This was better. I’d rather my boyfriend think I slept with a random person than Harry. This would be better.

“Did you write more songs about him?” Niall asks, grabbing my notebook from the coffee table.

“Sort of. Ni, it’s all just random songs.” I assure him, begging him not to go through every single page and read through all these lyrics that summed up my conflicted thoughts for almost a year.

“But they’re so different.” He sighs. “You’re so different.”

“What do you mean?” I question, because that sounded like a bad thing. It sounded like he didn’t like the changes that had taken place in my life. How am I supposed to have gone through all that I had and not ended up as a different person on the other side?

“I mean, that song… it was brutal. And so, so different, and now you want to sing songs like that from now on?”

“It was brutal because I was trashing you!” I interrupt. “Plus the whole writing a break up song wasn’t my idea in the first place!” I pause. “If you must know, Taylor heard what happened and said that it helps to write stuff down, I wasn’t going to sing it but then… what else was I going to do? Sing a love song about you? No! I needed something that would make you realise that you did wrong to me.” I stand to my feet, walking towards the kitchen. “And you have the audacity to say that I’m different? News flash Ni, you got another girl pregnant, she’s carrying you baby at this moment and you’re saying I’m different? I feel like I’m sitting on the sidelines and nothing has even happened yet! One scan! And by May you’re going to have a child and what will I have?”

“A failed marriage.” He mutters, but I still hear it.

“That’s not fair.” I point towards him, what’s wrong with him? How have things changed so quickly from spending every second with each other to barely talking without arguing? “It failed because I love you! Do you really wish it hadn’t failed? That you were still with Molly and you’d be living this perfect family image where the press isn’t slating you but rejoicing that you were having a kid? That the fans were accepting of who you choose to be with and who you want children with?”

“I don’t want children with Molly! But I’m not bloody going to leave my kid!” He argues back. “Why are you acting like this?”

“You’re the one who said I was different!” I snap back.

“Because you are! The Lennox who I was with last year just wanted to write songs and sing and dance, she wrote songs about the boy who she loved, she wasn’t you-“

“So what? Are you saying you don’t want to be with this mutation of the girl you used to know?” I can feel my cheeks reddening. What was happening? How did this happen? “Ever since I found out about this baby I’ve been terrified because somewhere along the line, someone is going to get hurt. I think it will be me.” He doesn’t answer, confirming that he knew I was the only one who was going to be hurt. Niall will have a child, he has his bandmates, apart from my friends and Niall, what do I have? “I’m going to be second to you now, I have to be second to you if you want this whole father thing to work. You’ll have to choose this baby over me.” I sigh, “I think it’s best if I go back to America, maybe sooner than Paul said. We need to… sort things through, get some perspective and… I’ll stay with Dani.”

“What?”

“See you soon.” I say, stepping forwards and grazing my lips against his cheek.

I still can’t even understand what was happening.

He wraps a hand around my wrist but I pull free, not taking a second glance back before grabbing my bags and leaving him there.

It all felt too similar, the tears, the heartbreak, my chest imploding of the thought of being second best to Niall. But this time it wasn’t to another girl, it was to his child, and there would be no way that I could become first priority to him again.

“H-hello?” I answer my phone immediately, now in a taxi to Dani’s flat. What used to be my flat too.

“Lenn? You alright?” Harry asks down the phone, his voice full of worry.

“Yeah, just in a taxi going to Dani’s.”

“Oh right, well, listen um.” He pauses. As if choosing his words carefully, and when he stays silent longer than anticipated I whisper his name to get him to talk. “I know you’re going back to America soon and well, Tamia quit her job, and we, no I, thought maybe you could get her a job with your tour team? You know publicity or something? A personal assistant?” He lowers his voice. “She could really do with it, and I know that you two are getting on now… so maybe you wouldn’t mind.”

“No! That’s fine! I’ll ask Tessa about it, although I think I’ll be going back earlier than we first said, a couple of days maybe?”

“Oh right.” Maybe it was the tone of my voice, but clearly I could tell Harry knew not to ask me why I was going back earlier when I’d hardly even been back.

Because there was hardly anything keeping me here now. 

*

DUN DUN DUNNN! Ninnox is not over btw... just.. on the rocks. 

BUT AAAHH I'M SO EXCITED! IN LIKE 2-3 CHAPTERS YOU'LL BE MEETING A NEW CHARACTER WHO I AM VERY EXCITED FOR YOU ALL TO MEET (AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ STORYLINES MIGHT FIGURE OUT WHO SHE IS ;D)

I over-use capital letters too much. 

Song on the side is the best song in the world, Thinking Of You by Ke$ha the awesomest break-up song to ever live. 

But what is this, Niall thinks she's different? Niall will see just how different she can get ;)

Please remember to read Storylines if you haven't already because it's a different perspective of the same events that happen in both books, and you really are in the know about everything if you read Storylines ;)

So... bad news everyone. Well actually, good news for me because I'm happy about it but meh. This is the last update for two weeks because I'm going on holiday (to Rhodes if you are interested) but you know, that's just how summer works, you relax and go away and shit. So I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't have time to update between now and tomorrow morning because I've got to pack and stuuuff like that. 

boys stink. 

Unless they're Niall Horan.

^ wise words. 

I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN TWO WEEKS!