One More Night (Niall Horan)

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Take Me Away

“I can’t actually remember most of what happened that night.” I admit to Stevie.

“That’s okay. What about when you woke up?”

“Lenn?” I felt pressure on my shoulder, opening my eyes there were three of my best friends around my bedside. Danielle, Louis and Zayn. I moved around, tubes were attacking me from all sides and I felt like I wasn’t actually breathing, that something else was controlling the intake of air, and my hands went to the oxygen masks, but Danielle grabbed my hands to stop my movements and the boys whispered to take it easy.

“W-what happened?” I try speaking for the first time, and the words hurt to form in my dry throat.

“You overdosed.” Only my mouth can drop open, my memories seem to be muffled and blocked from my mind. I remember being given something, taking it with the alcohol. Clearly a mistake on my part. Then I remember a lot of screaming, Tamia clutching onto my hand and Niall hastily wiping tears from his cheeks. “They said if you’d consumed any more alcohol you would’ve-“ She chokes out a sob and I grab onto her hand and squeeze it, Dani steps closer and brushes a hand across my forehead. “I thought I’d lost my best friend. I haven’t even been there for you, and I realised I’d had no idea what was going on in your life, I didn’t even know that the drug problem was this bad!”

“It’s all my fault.” I tell her, “I’m just a screw up.”

“Where’s Niall?” I finally ask afer a few moments of silence and nervous looks between my friends. “I mean, don’t feel offended but I’d like to see Niall.”

“He’s not here.” Louis tells me, stepping further up the bed, nearer to my head and then grabs onto my hand and massages his thumb over it. “He’s… well Lenn. The baby came early, so he’s in the maternity ward.”

“And, how did that feel?” Stevie’s voice cuts through the memories, and for once I can’t tell her the feelings. What did I feel? I can’t remember. I can’t remember a thing. Just the ringing through my ears and Louis’ voice telling me over and over again that the baby came prematurely.

I knew the first real thought.

Was the baby dead?

I mean, the baby hadn’t been around for that long, how could the baby be alive?

“What’s her name?”

“I-I don’t want to.” I tell her, clutching my chest. “Please, I can’t talk about him.”

“Him?” Stevie questions, she’s pushing my buttons and she knows it. “You mean Niall? Can you not talk about him anymore?”

“I told you I don’t want to!” My voice raises and I want to leave this place. This stupid fucking place that Niall made me promise to go to. I was finally going to get better. Well, what was the point in getting better if I’d lost everybody in the process? “It’s alright for you! Stevie, you’ve probably got someone who loves you,” a glance to her left hand and seeing a wedding band proves my accusation. “Kids? Or at least planning on having kids? Everything is fine for you. But me? Whilst I was in hospital, I lost everything that was important to me.”

“Tell me about it then. What did you lose?”

“My best friend.” I shrug. “It’s all my fault, I’m not surprised that she felt disgusted to even look at me.”

“Why?”

“Liam had been cheating on her.” I admit. “He’d done the same thing to Dani that Niall had done to me. He’d been cheating on her with my stylist Megan. But… Dani thought I knew. I had no idea that they’d been seeing each other behind Dani’s back… But Liam wasn’t telling her because he felt guilty, he was telling her because he was choosing her over Dani.”