One More Night (Niall Horan)

Chapter Thirty-One: Panic Sets In

The idea of a future Niall haunted me throughout the night.

The idea of the baby not being his was all I had left, the only chance we had to be together, and I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to get that paternity test, and I wanted it not to be his, I wanted the chance for him to forgive me and to come back. Our relationship would be stronger, happier. It would be just like before, when we’d laugh until our sides hurts, we were our best friends, and I loved him more than I’d loved anyone else on this planet. I wanted that back.

I wanted jokes from the boys about our relationship, even from other people who I even met on the street, I wanted them to ask me how he was, and I’d be able to tell them how happy we are, and for once we would be happy.

It’s hard to face the fact that he’s not mine anymore. If I could do anything to get him back, I would. This baby can’t be his. It’s the only hope for us we have left.

That’s what brought me to Niall’s flat the day after my exit from rehab. For the first time since my rise in fame, I pulled my hood over my face and tried to act as incognito as possible, and it felt… free, not to be walking down the street or catching the tube in London, without photos being taken with my every step. The fame had stopped controlling me, and now I could do as I wished in the public, even if all I wished to do was walk down the street without being stopped.

I walked up towards the door, my old key in my hand, and when I pushed the key into the lock, the door merely opened of its own accord. My back-up story was perfect, a cardboard box tucked under my arm so that I can collect other items, or that’s what I would tell Niall when he gets here.

I kicked the door shut with my boot and I wasn’t surprised to see the flat tidy and orderly, but what choked me up was the small children’s toys scattered across the sofa. I moved away from the lounge where we’d had countless snuggles on the sofa whilst watching the television, and moved into the kitchen, collecting one of my bracelets which was set on the counter, as if he’d found it whilst cleaning and realised who it belonged to, then placed it on the counter with the intention to return it to me one day. There were baby bottles next to the kettle, and a tub of baby formula also next to the bread bin. It was like baby central in this place! Why did it suddenly change the flat like it was hit with a baby-storm?

Then I moved from the kitchen, still cardboard box in my hand and then I entered the bedroom, the only untidy place in the flat, just as it had always been. The bed wasn’t made, and the blinds were shut so I turned the light on to manoeuvre around more clearly. I moved towards the wardrobe, and ignored pangs in my chest as I went through Niall’s clothes to see if any of my clothes had ended up tucked away in his side of the wardrobe, and then spotted my pair of running trainers sat next to his, because we’d once had the intention to get fitter by jogging together in the mornings, obviously it would never happen now.

Unless the baby turns out not to be his, then we’d definitely take up running as a couple.

There were so many things we’d planned; the silent agreement was always there between us, that we were serious about each other, that we’d be growing old together and had all the time in the world to do the things we wanted to do. Running, Cupcakes Sunday (a day dedicated to wearing pj’s and eating cupcakes until we threw up), even just going on holiday together. We barely did anything we had planned, we were cut short. Now he’s a father, and I’m an ex-drug addict who is trying to adjust to life without him.

“Niall? You here? The door was unlocked.” I freeze, my arms still hugging the pair of trainers and I place them in the box, rushing towards the lounge, Liam is standing in the doorway to the flat, Megan standing behind him. “Oh.” He freezes too and I barely know what to say anymore. I don’t know what to say to either of them, two people who I had trusted and he cheated on my best friend. They deceived all of us.