Was it All an Accident? (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction, Book Three)

Part Four: Are You Scared?

(Harry’s POV)

Today was not a good day to be Harry Styles of One Direction. If I could switch places with someone else, today would be the day. Another day would have been when I found out my girlfriend has leukemia. Okay, well, she hadn’t, like, been diagnosed yet but still. She could have it. And it’s still, like, pretty damn scary.

            “Harry?” The voice was harsh, not that I cared. “Do you fully understand what you’re saying? What you’re asking? Do you know what this will do to everyone else but you?”

            “You don’t think it’s rather selfish of you?”

            “Stop!” This voice was Louis. He put one hand on my shoulder and squeezed. At least he was supportive. The other lads all put their hands on my shoulders. “Harry needs to do what he needs to do. The boys and I are being supportive of Harry and his decision. We can worry about this later.”

            “Are you being serious?”

            “Harry, you need to get it together!”

            “You’re going to throw away your life for some girl you barely know?”

            “I’ve made up my mind!” I yelled back at them. I looked to Louis who nodded. “I’m going to America. If Whytnie,” well, I couldn’t really say it aloud, “I need to be with her. She needs me now more than ever.”

            “And we support Harry’s decision.” I smiled up at Louis, well, as big of a smile as I could muster. It’s been very difficult to smile lately given the circumstances.

            “You’re really going to let him go through with this? Harry, you guys can just tour with her, if that’s what you want. Let’s not make hasty choices. Well, not just yet, at least.”

            But I was beyond listening to them. I’ve made up my mind, and with the boy’s support I knew the argument was over. They were just going to have to accept that.

[…]

(Harry’s POV)

“Are you scared?” Louis asked. He had come back to my house, after the big argument with our managers, to help me pack up some of my stuff. He’d taken a break and was sitting down on my bed. “I mean, aren’t you afraid of what’s to come?”

            I gave him a look. “Of course, I am.”

            He sighed and started putting stuff in boxes again. “Don’t you think it has happened way too fast?”

            “Are you trying to make me doubt myself?”

            “Of course not!” He shook his head. “I’m just saying that when you go over there, and,” he paused, looking uncomfortable, “and things, um, don’t work out, what will you do then?”

            “You mean, if she dies?” I didn’t know where the bluntness came from, or why I would even suggest that. Louis blinked, shocked that I would say it aloud. He nodded his head slowly, watching my reaction very carefully. “I’ll deal with it if it happens. But it’s not going to happen.”

            “You don’t know that, though.”

            “What is your problem?”

            “I’m trying to protect you!”

            “From what?!”

            “From the many different possibilities!”

            “Like what? Like the fact that she could die!” My eyes started to tear up without my consent. Rubbing my hands against them, I was in no mood to let my anger go so easily. “Like the only thing that matters to me now could die any day?” My whole body was overtaken by sobs and I let Louis comfort me.

            “Shh,” he soothed, “it’s going to be okay. You know the lads and I are going to be there for you this whole time, right? We won’t leave you all alone.” Even if they were going to continue with their upcoming world tour without me. I couldn’t hold them back, just like they couldn’t hold me back. They needed to do this, and I wasn’t going to screw them over. We’d all talked about it before we went to management. They knew I had to do this. At least, they weren’t holding it against me.

            And I knew Louis meant what he said. They’re like my brothers. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and they would understand. They’d let me deal with my problems in my own way, knowing they’d be there for me no matter what.

            Now I had to prepare myself for the long journey ahead of me. Now was the time to be strong. If not for me, than for her. She needed me to be strong for her right about now.