Was it All an Accident? (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction, Book Three)

Part Thirty: EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY!

(Harry’s POV)         

Smiling, I awoke when her hands started playing with my hair. She sighed and turned to lie on her back as my eyes opened. My smile faded as I watched her stare unblinkingly at the ceiling above our heads. I kind of lost my happiness and content as she continued to just lie there, staring at nothing, not blinking. Well, what the…?

            “Whytnie?” I asked like she was a small child. She still didn’t move. “Whytnie?” I asked with more urgency. “Whytnie!” I said louder, trying to get her attention. And then a sick feeling went through me, shaking my bones and tugging at my heart. My first instinct was that she was dead, and I quickly got out of the bed, knocking over whatever was in the way. My hands balled into fists and I felt like punching something. I might have, but I didn’t pay attention. Tears were falling before I could stop them or hold them back. My hands reached out to her chest, trying to feel her heartbeat. When I felt one, my body filled with relief and I almost passed out. Taking a deep breath, I towered over her so I could look down at her face. She still didn’t move. I glanced over at the clock on the other side of the room to double check the time, and when realization hit my heart almost stopped. It was time. She needed her next dosage.

            My voice became shaky and more worried as I kept calling her name. I tried touching her face to get some sort of reaction. It didn’t work. I lightly shook her, but it didn’t do any good. My voice went even louder, more panicky. Still nothing worked. She wasn’t moving.

            Oh, God… This is it, isn’t it? This is−

            She blinked a couple times and then screamed. Her screams went louder and I backed away and off the bed with my arms held high. Her screams cut off and she continued to blink, not moving from her position. Slowly, she turned her head towards me.

            The words were spilling out before I could stop them. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.” I know I’m bad at hiding my feelings when it comes to Whytnie, but I was beyond trying to hide my feelings right now. She needed to know. “You were just lying there, with your eyes open.” Her face didn’t even change; it was still that same indifferent expression. “I didn’t know what was happening.” She blinked. “At first, I thought you were dead,” my voice kind of broke at that last word, “and then I felt your heartbeat and knew you were alive. Except I still didn’t know what was happening to you! I didn’t! I double checked to make sure you were breathing, like you would not believe what was going through my head. How scared I was!” And all of a sudden, I’m not scared anymore. I’m mad. “I thought you were going to die! Do you know how I felt? Of course you don’t! I was so freaked out!

            “I started calling your name,” I continued on, she still had that same expression. She just wasn’t getting it. “And you didn’t even blink! You weren’t even responding! Your breathing stopped and I kind of flipped out!” I pointed next to me, to where I’d broken something, and there was also a fist print in the wall. That’s just great. I didn’t even feel it. Yet. “I started shaking you and you weren’t even moving! So I started panicking and yelling at you! And then all of a sudden you started screaming at me. I don’t know, but I thought you didn’t recognize me or something.” I stopped, still watching her indifferent expression unchanging. “You do, don’t you? You know who I am, right?”

            “W-Who are you?” she asked, and blinked again. My heart stopped beating for a second as dread filled me. I felt my whole body stiffen and I don’t think I’ve ever felt as scared as I was in that one moment. Her eyes blinked some more and her face expression finally changed. “I was just kidding,” her words spilled out of her mouth. She tried to lift herself up, but her arms wouldn’t support her. I pulled her up to a sitting position and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in the crook of her neck. My whole body started shaking when her arms wrapped around me. My body suddenly felt numb.

            She started humming, but it didn’t work to calm me down. “Harry,” she started talking to me as if I were mad, “it’s going to be okay. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or make you mad.” My shaking started to get quite violent, but my anger was taking over. She just thought that she could just do something as senile as that? And get away with it? And tell me that everything is going to be okay. EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY! “I didn’t mean to scare you. Everything is going to be okay, I promise.” She’s lucky I can’t find my voice right now. “We’re all going to be okay. I’m fine.” No we’re not! Not if stuff like this keeps happening! Wait! Did she just flinch? “You’re fine. We’re okay. Everything is going to be okay. Trust me, okay?

            “I thought it was going to be funny,” she continued on using the same sympathetic and supportive voice, “but I know now that it wasn’t.” You think? “I know what I did was wrong−”

            And I’ve had enough of this. My voice came back finally.

            “Wrong?” I didn’t even care that I was yelling now. “It was beyond cruel! You have no idea what I just went through!” It was hard to hold in how much I was crying right now, but I managed. My anger was overpowering my hurt. “And then you have the decency to try to play it off?! Play it off! Do you know how scared I was?” Somehow, I magically appeared to tower over her without my knowledge whatsoever. All of a sudden, she wasn’t just sitting there letting me yell at her. She started shaking and I watched her shake, like I had. I watched her fall to the ground, still shaking. My body froze, I couldn’t do anything but scream as her eyes rolled back and all I saw were white.

            As soon as my screams died down, and lots of knocking and yelling were happening outside the door, my hands went immediately to my phone. I had to call an ambulance right now. My breathing is ragged and people are trying to get into this room. I ignored them, talking in French to the man that answered the phone. I can’t even tell you if I even made any sense or if my words weren’t slurred or if I sounded mad.

            My eyes went back to her, as my hand reached out to grab hers. I almost lost my balance as I felt how cold she was. Throughout this whole argument, I completely forgot how I missed her morning dosage. Dammit. Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT! This is all my fault. If she dies…

            If she dies…

            Is she gonna die?