Was it All an Accident? (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction, Book Three)

Part Thirty-Seven: Forget Me.

(Harry’s POV)

“Here’s your last chance to say goodbye,” Louis told me, not to be mean or anything. He told me because it was the truth. This was the final time. And oh, god, did it hurt. It hurt so badly. I can’t even describe the kind of pain I’m in or how badly my mind is messed up right now. I’ll be lucky if I even get my words out. “She’s waiting for you.”

            As I was told, the lads already said their goodbyes. Her parents had said theirs as well. They were nowhere to be found as I made my way to her room. Emily had said her goodbye and was now balling her eyes out in Niall’s arms. My mum had told her goodbye and so had Gemma. In there right now was Caleb. He was saying goodbye. Or attempting to. All I really heard was a bunch of crying. Some strange girl was standing outside her door, it took me a while to notice her because I didn’t recognize her and I thought she was standing near the one next to Whytnie’s. But she just stood there, her own eyes glassy as she listened in to the heart wrenching sobs coming from Caleb. Whytnie’s could be heard but hers were more quieter.

            “You must be Harry,” the girl said giving me a big smile. “I’m Cori. Caleb’s, uh, friend.” She seemed to hesitate on that last part, unsure of herself. “You know, he’d never admit this, and will deny it if you confront him, but he’s happy that Whytnie has you. He likes you a lot.”

            “Are we talking about the same Caleb?” I ask, my words slurring only a little.

            “Yeah, but you don’t see him the way I do.”

            “I’m happy that he has you.” And I’ll have no one. Man, I think I’m going to be sick all over again. “And you obviously haven’t known him as long as I have, otherwise you wouldn’t be saying that.”

            “We dated in high school.” Oh. “He’s changed a lot since then. I believe I have Whytnie to thank for that.” She smiles again, and it’s completely genuine. “He’s told me a lot about her,” her eyes take this dreamy look, “he loved her, you know?” Oh, man, did I know. “He talks about her a lot, how she didn’t return his feelings, how she’s helped him grow, about Brittney and how he wasn’t ready for her, and how proud he is that Whytnie ended up with someone as worthy as you.” I scoff. “Fine then, don’t believe me. But I speak the truth. He admires you. And,” her voice cracks, “when a certain something happens, he hopes the two of you will stay in touch.”

            “Really? Now I know you’re delusional,” I reply back instead of resorting to sobbing all over again. She gave me another reassuring grin.

            “Don’t believe me, but don’t mind my I-told-you-so when the time comes.” And then Caleb rushes out of the room, a complete mess. I watch as Cori comforts him and how his body shakes as her arms wrap around him. He lets her attempt to soothe him. And I smile to myself knowing he’s finally found someone that sees him for him. Someone who doesn’t judge how much he loves his best friend. And I don’t resent him for that. Not anymore. I hit him on the shoulder before going into her room myself. And as soon as our eyes meet, the wall I’d been holding up shatters and cracks into a billion small pieces. I’m crying like a waterfall as I reach her, her arms attempt to reach out for me. She’s so pale. Her hair is sticking to her face in big clumps. Her eyes are already red and glassy, tear streaks going down her cheeks and the top of her hospital gown is wet. She looks so fragile. So breakable. I’m scared to even reach out to touch her. But I know I’ll regret it if I don’t.

            And then the words come tumbling out of my mouth. “I’m so sorry, Whytnie! This is all my fault! If I hadn’t have gotten mad at you, you wouldn’t be in this situation! I’m so sorry! I never deserved you! I shouldn’t have gotten mad! I had no right! You were behind on your medicine! You should’ve stopped me! It’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have yelled at you! I know how much you hate getting yelled at! I don’t know why I did it! I was just so mad!

            “And you just sat there and let me yell at you! I can’t apologize enough for what I did! It’s all my fault! And now you’re dying because of me! And there’s nothing I can do to make up for what I did to you! I won’t even ask for your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it!”

            “Harry,” her voice is quiet and weak but I stop talking. “This,” she points down at herself, “is not your fault. I don’t want you to ever think that. I don’t forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. You were upset, and none of this was your fault. It’s me that doesn’t deserve you! You don’t deserve this! To watch me die. You deserve better. I won’t hold you back anymore.”

            “No, no, no! Whytnie, no!”

            “Harry, you have to promise me one thing.”

            “Anything.”

            “Forget me.” My sobbing turns violent as I hold onto her hand for dear life. “Go on with your life like I never happened. I want you to rejoin the other lads and live out your life. You’re very young, and don’t let some girl ruin your entire life. It isn’t fair to you. Don’t let me die feeling that kind of regret.”

            “I, c-can’t.”

            “Harry…”

            “No, Whytnie,” I tell her, making my voice sound stronger than I felt. She was falling apart, crumbling at the seams. I didn’t have long. She was starting to slowly fade away. Her heart beat was falling even more behind.

            “My heart didn’t stop before,” she was saying like I’d made that promise to her. “It’s slowing down. I feel really tired, Harry. I’ve already said my goodbyes. But I can’t say goodbye to you. I don’t want to.”

            “Then don’t, Whytnie. Don’t ever say goodbye. Not to me. This isn’t goodbye.”

            “But it is. And I’ll have to say it eventually.”

            “Don’t. Just stay here with me. Don’t think about anything else.”

            “But your future−”

            “Can wait. You’re the only thing that matters right now.”

            “I love you.” Her eyes were slowly closing, and I started freaking out. Commanding her to stay awake, shaking her so that she’ll snap out of this daze. But nothing was working. As soon as her eyes closed, the heart monitor beeped causing me to jump. Her heartbeat had stopped.

            “We’re losing her!”

            “She’s gone!”

            The room was no longer vacant. Doctors, nurses, her family, Caleb and Emily, the lads and Cori, and my family were all filing in. But it was too late. And we were ushered out once more. And this time I didn’t fight the darkness that flooded through my veins making my whole world dark.