Cotton Candy

18. Home Sweet Home

Friday June 1

Tanner's P.O.V.

            At 6 a.m. I get up, so I can finish my packing and then go home.  I'm so excited!  School is finally over, so I'm not stressing about anything and I can see my mom and my two brothers.  With freshman year of college done, I have three years to go.  Well, maybe more than three, but three for now. 

            Despite my happiness to go home and see my family, there are three reasons that I don't really want to go home.  The first and most important, having to do with Janae.  I miss her really much, but I'm not ready to face her again.  To be completely honest, I love her.  I always have, but then when I heard she was cheating on me..  It hurt.  It hurt bad.  I thought she loved me like I loved her, but I guess I was wrong.

            What I really don't get is why she had to go on and do it.  What was wrong with me?  If she wanted more attention, she should've came to me instead of searching for other guys.  I feel used and mad, but I still love her.  Gosh, I feel stupid for saying that, but it's true!  I can't get over her.  I thought when I started dating Rachel that I'd be able to move on, but it isn't working.  Everything seems to remind me of Janae and she's constantly in my thoughts. 

            I miss how she used to kiss me.  I miss her always being there no matter what too.  I miss it all.  She was a really great girlfriend.  I suppose that's why things didn't work out.  Just when you're really happy and enjoying life, something dear is taken from you and everything goes back to crap.  Ok, so that probably sounds pretty depressing, but that's what heartbreak is! 

            My second reason is because of my roommate, Keegan.  Keegan has become my best friend over the last couple of months and we do almost everything together.  I'm really going to miss him when I'm at home, but I guess I could see if he could always come into town. 

            My final reason is Rachel.  Rachel is a pretty good girlfriend overall, I guess.  We don't talk much, she's more into making out and that kind of thing.  My problem is that I feel kind of guilty because I still love Janae while I'm dating Rachel.  I shouldn't feel that guilty, though.  I made it perfectly clear to her that I was still getting over Janae when she asked me out.  Yeah, SHE asked ME out.  Another reason why I shouldn't feel guilty.

            I finish packing my clothes (that's the only thing that's left in my dorm room).  That's when I realize he's missing.  Where's Keegan?  I don't have much time before I have to go and we need to say goodbye.  I don't have to worry about saying goodbye to Rachel because I did yesterday before she left and we live about a 10 minute drive from each other's houses.

            Walking out of the dorm, I happen to catch a glimpse of two people jogging.  Wait..  was that Keegan?  I move closer so I can see the two figures better.  Yep, that's definitely Keegan.  Typical him to be flirting away with some college girl who is trying to jog in the morning.  The best part is the expression on her face.  She really looks like she wants to be somewhere else right now.  Oh Keegan....

            I run after them shouting, "Keegan!"  They stop after a little and both turn around to face me. 

            "Oh hey man.  What's up?  I'm just going for a morning jog here with Lizzie."

            "Kara."

            "Yeah, I said Kara."

            I roll my eyes at him.  He forgot her name?  Wow.  That really is typical him.  The girl named Kara has been looking at me for a while.  I remembered to put on clothes, right?  I would think so, I'd like to think that Keegan would let me know if I didn't.  I look down and I am dressed.  Then, what's she staring at?  That's when it hits me.  She's definitely checking me out.  Huh.  Oh well, she can look all she wants, but she can't touch.