If You Knew the Truth

Healing Yourself

Chapter 18
Rachels pov :
"Finn! Finn!" I yelled going after him after he punched Puck in the parking lot. "Stay away from me Rachel! " He yelled at me. "Finn we'll you just listen to me!" I begged him. He turned around infuriated, "NO WHEN WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME RACHEL NO I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO HER OR HIM OR ESPECIALLY YOU FOR THAT MATTER ! HOW CAN YOU BE WITH SOMEBODY THAT HAS HURT ME BY SLEEPING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND GETTING HER PREGNANT! SO JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! " He yelled at me with tears rolling down his face. I looked at him hurt , "I'm sorry Finn, I'm sorry that this happened to you and I'm sorry I tried to help. " I took a deep breath ready to cry, "I'm sorry." I said again and left him there.
(2 hours later )
I sat there on the top of the bleecher looking out onto the football field watching the football players as Mr.Shue came up and sat next to me. "Hey." He said. I wiped my tears and said , "Hi." I looked down. "What happened? " He asked me. "Finn found out Quinn cheated on him,they broke up, Noah and I broke up because he's her baby daddy, and Finn yelled at me and told me to stay away from him. " I told him. "Thats a lot." He told me. "Was this your intention when you told us to write those letters?" I asked him. "No , my intention was to bring us all closer together but look how that turned out." He said . "So what are you doing here?" I asked him. "Why did you cut yourself?" He asked me . My heart froze in fear. "How did you...." "I got the letter you wrote. Why didn't you get help after your dads died?" He asked me. "I tried , I tried so many times to get help Mr.Shuester. But everytime I worked up the courage to go into Ms.Pilsburys office and talk to her I bailed. I couldn't do it . So I cut myself to relieve the pain. It was only once but thats all it took before I realized that this wasn't my best option and I be doing Barbara Striestand a dishonor along with the world." I said and we laughed. "You know its not too late to get some help Rachel. " He told me. "I'm going to be okay Mr.Shue. " I said. "Are you sure because Rachel you don't look okay. " He told me. "Mr.Shue I'm not on drugs or cutting myself anymore , I'm hurt because the person who I care about the most is hurting and he hates me and there's nothing I can do. " I said. "Maybe you should start by healing yourself and then focus on Finn." He said and left.