In My Life

Chapter 25

John's POV
I woke the next morning in bed with a pounding headache, unable to remember a single thing from the night before. And as much as I would have liked to have stayed in bed all day, my throat was excruciatingly dry, and practically crying for a drink.

After filling a cup full of water from the kitchen downstairs, I made my way back to bed, only reaching the staircase before she caught my eye. Right there, on Mimi's sofa she lay, all curled up.

A nauseous feeling in my stomach began to rise as I entered the front room for a closer look. I knew something was terribly wrong. After all, what was she doing here?

I took a seat in Mimi's chair beside her writing desk, admiring her as she slept.

I'd never noticed what pretty, thick eyelashes she'd had before, or the redness of her rosy cheeks. She was really quite beautiful in her own childlike way as she lay there peacefully. I couldn't help but draw myself closer her, tracing my finger over her high cheekbones, making me smile just to be able to touch her again.

We hadn't been on good terms lately, or more or less, I hadn't. I felt overshadowed when McCartney was around, like I wasn't good enough for her. Teasing her would occasionally spark up some joy; seeing her helpless, practically begging of me. Like I had some control. However, I couldn't help but miss the old days. Before McCartney, or the band, or even Julia, when it was just the two of us.

I sighed as I traced my fingertips over her forehead and down her nose, until they reached her lips. How I wished I could have kissed them, and had her for myself, just like I'd wanted. It was what hurt most, and the reason I just couldn't stand to be around her anymore. It was just too challenging to spend time alone with her when she belonged to Paul, and the temptations would always be so provoking. It was easier to have her leave me be, and find a girl for myself to get her off my mind.

My fingers dropped from her face, and I smiled, admiring how vulnerable and delicate she looked when she was asleep. I took a step back, and seated back in my chair to watch her for a while longer, completely losing track of time.

Soon enough, she began to wake up, and realising this, I wasn't sure whether or not to stay or leave; I was never quite sure if we were on good terms these days.

She rubbed her eyes sheepishly, stretching out her arms before realising where she was, when she then gasped.

"Good morning." I smiled weakly, taking another sip from my water.

She gasped again having finally noticed me, and clutched one of cushions beside her in terror.

"Sam? You a'right?" I asked her, rising from my seat to reach out for her, only causing her to climb up the back off the sofa, jump from it, and press herself against the wall furthest from me. "Sam?" I laughed lightly. However, she wasn't laughing back, and so I knew something was wrong. "What happened last night?" I asked her, causing her to tense up at the mere thought. "Why won't you come near me?"

She shook her head, the colour having now completely drained from her pale face, and sank to the ground, curling up into the wall.

I drew myself closer to her, and crouched down beside her, trying to stroke her face before she clasped her hands over it, turning away from me.

"Did I hurt you Sam?" I tried to ask her, placing my hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

She didn't dare try to shake it off, in fact, she sat frozen with fear. From me.

"Look I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry." I bit my lip, cupping my hand to my throbbing head.

Still, she did nothing, and I couldn't bear it any longer. I didn't like feeling so far away from her; it was like being on another planet we were so detached.

After much hesitation, back and forth with a doubtful palm, I finally worked up the nerve to slip my arms around her body, pulling her in for a long and overdue, warming hug. I rested my chin on her head, stroking her shoulder as I hugged her. She did nothing in return, just sat there in my arms motionlessly. But that didn't matter to me at all, because at least she wasn't fighting back, as I never wanted to let her go.