In My Life

Chapter 37

"So why'd you call me over here so early?" I asked, laughing lightheartedly.

"Who's to say I don't like having you around?" John shrugged, smoothing his hands down my arms, until drawing me onto his lap.

The two of us simply sat contentedly on Mimi's sofa for some time; I rested my head on his chest whilst he gently played with my hair.

"I like having you around too John." I smiled, as I closed my eyes to drift off in his embrace, despite it being early morning. "But seriously, wad'ya want?"

Although my eyes were shut, I could still feel him smirking above me, and had a crystal clear image in my mind, making me smile also.

"Nothing! I swear!" He surrendered his arms up. "What's wrong with wanting you around? Haven't I waited long enough for this?"

"And what is this?" I challenged him.

By this point I'd opened my eyes, only to meet his sparkling brown ones. He gazed down upon me smiling, and began to lightly stroke the tip of my nose before replying.

"How about I make us a cuppa?" He kissed my forehead, before manoeuvring me slightly over to the side so that he could rise from the sofa to the kitchen.

"As long as the kettle's boiling." I smirked.

And with that, he gave me a quick wink before exiting Mimi's front room for the kitchen.

It seemed this was a room where we had our many ups and downs, but recently, John and I had been getting on just wonderfully. I hadn't attended his band rehearsal for quite some time, or seen much of Paul, and so things almost felt back to normal between the two of us. Almost.

I was just satisfied that I was able to spend time with John again, which had really begun to fill the void Paul had left. It was to the extent as though I could pretend it had never happened, and Paul was nothing but a lost daydream. As if it had always been just me and John like it had before he'd interfered in our lives. I was just glad to see that nothing had effected the Quarrymen, as Paul and John appeared to be getting on okay; though I suppose the entire universe doesn't revolve around me.

"Hey, good of yer' to drop bye." I overheard John cheering from the kitchen as the back door clicked shut.

"Am I early?" Said another voice.

"No no, your timing is perfect." Echoed John's voice throughout the silent house. "Here, take this through for me."

"Alright okay, I'll just go get set up then." Said the other voice again. A familiar voice. Similar to the voice of-

"Sam?" He said plainly as he entered the room, surprised to find me on the sofa.

"Paul." I jumped from the sofa solemnly.

"I suppose this is yours then?" He nodded towards the teacup in his hands, beckoning for me to take it.

"Oh yes, thanks." I smiled weakly, gently taking the scorching tea cup from his hands and placing it on Mimi's writing desk beside the sofa.

Paul glanced momentarily into my eyes. They just weren't the same anymore when he was around me. He seemed miserable to see me, and his once gleaming eyes were now sombre and monotonous.

He said nothing to me afterwards, but simply began setting up his guitar and sheets to begin what I'd guessed were the signs of a Lennon-McCartney session. It wasn't long before John joined us, who I'd hoped would break the frosty ice between us; I really didn't like what had become of Paul and I.

"Hello hello hello." Chirped John blissfully, who came striding into the room with two cups of tea. "One for you Macca." He winked, handing a cup to Paul, who placed it impassively beside him, much more focused on the strings of his guitar.

John glanced between the two of us; Paul, who sat comfortably beside the fireplace, and myself, who was perched on the edge of Mimi's sofa. He could sense the awkwardness.

"Little chilly in here, wouldn't you say Paulie?" Smirked John deviously.

Paul shook his head without much interest for John's windups, and instead began running through some chords on his guitars.

"John maybe I should just go. I feel a little out of place, and it's probably better I leave the two of you to it. I know you'd feel much more comfortable that way." I bit my lip as I stared at Paul, who didn't take a blind bit of notice as to what I was saying.

"No no no, Sammy don't do that!" John protested, almost jumping at the sight of me leaving. "I need you here Sam." He smiled, pinching my waist as he drew me closer.

I would have been rather flattered if a certain previous boyfriend hadn't been sat in the room, flushing me with embarrassment.

"John." I blushed, trying to untangle my hips from his arms.

"Sam." He mocked me, resting his forehead against mine, reluctant to let me go.

His traced his lips across mine, on the brink of kissing them, until abruptly pulling away as though to tease me, except I was more or less relieved. I'd never felt so uncomfortable with John than I had then; well, sober John that was. It didn't feel right to do anything flirtatious with Paul present.

As John pulled away, my eyes caught glimpse of Paul, who had taken a break from his guitar to look at us. It almost pained me to watch his face. It wasn't that he looked hurt, it was more or less that he didn't show any signs of caring at all, not that I wasn't happy to see he wasn't upset.

I felt John's palms leave my hips as he exited the room to retrieve something, leaving my body in a frigid state.

"Paul, I'm sorry." Were the only words I was capable of penetrating after John left us, my voice faltering with every syllable.

"No no, I see how it is." He shrugged coldly, tracing the strings of his guitar with his finger tips.

"Paul, I never wanted things to turn out this way, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean to-" I babbled, as I fell to my knees beside him.

"Sam, it's fine. You chose John. I'm over it, and would prefer you wouldn't hang around." He said nonchalantly, as though the cold words I was hearing were of no importance.

I withdrew the lingering hand I'd held over his shoulder, no longer tempted to touch him. He wanted nothing to do with me.

"You want me to leave?" I repeated, trying not to sound as hurt as I felt.

He nodded, still not showing the slightest interest for me. I just couldn't believe that the boy who'd been so caring and kind to me in past weeks was being so inconsiderate of my feelings; I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming it.

"Alright then, I'll leave." I bit my lip firmly as I rose from my knees again to exit. "But Paul?" I hesitated, my body already half way through the door frame.

He shrugged, as though to say he was listening, but still didn't care.

"Remember." I smiled weakly as I left. "I really really like you Paul."