In My Life

Chapter 49

"I hope nobody noticed." I winced, as the two of us snuck stealthily through the backdoor of the pub.

"Doubt it." Paul shook his head. "Probably all too hammered to notice."

"Guess you're right." I shrugged.

"But one more thing." Paul reached for my wrist before venturing any further, locking his captivating eyes with mine.

"Yes?"

"Everything that happened." He bit his lip. "Could it stay our little secret?"

I smiled at him afinitively, and ran my fingers through his deflated quiff to bring some more life to it.

"Of course." I giggled, enlightening him with a light peck on the cheek, causing him to turn his head away coyly.

"But anyway love, I'd best be off now." He sighed as he guided me by hand to the side stage, only to retrieve his guitar. "Say goodbye to John for me?"

"Wait! You're leaving? Already?" I gasped rather disappointedly.

"Awh I'm sorry darl'." He stroked my cheek, playing with loose strands of my hair. "But it's getting late, and we can't all stay out 'till dawn."

I laughed lightheartedly, as I knew that the both of us had John in mind.

"Alright then." I nodded understandingly, as he pulled me into a hug.

"I'll be sure to stop around sometime this week though, okay?" He whispered in my ear, as I nuzzled my face into his jacket.

I nodded my head solemnly, suddenly feeling alarmed and frightened that Paul was leaving. I couldn't help but see him as a sort of safety net, keeping me from harm around the drunken lads of the pub. I clung to his shirt stiffly, until I felt him beginning to draw away, and had to force myself with all strength to let go.

"Goodbye Sam." He winked, pinching my cheek tenderly has he brushed past me.

"Bye." I winced, watching him leave miserably, the stench of alcohol burning through my nostrils, no longer having Paul's sweet aroma nearby to blockade the vile miasma.

Once his head and foot were out of sight, I felt a pit of anxiety dig it's way into my stomach, and ventured upon my next quest to find John, who apparently was of nowhere in sight. Instead, I fought my way through walls of people in order to get to the bar, where I found not John, but Nigel and Eric.

"You guys fannied too or sober?" I sighed once reaching them.

"You tell me." Nigel presented me with a dopey grin, as he tipped from side to side.

"Am I surprised?" I laughed, causing him to raise his glass to me as he took another swig. "So where's John?" I snapped my attention to Eric, who appeared more stable than Nigel.

"Thought he was with you pet." He shrugged.

"But I've barely seen him all night." I told him, now becoming very curious as to why Eric had thought so.

"Well this ain't good." Hiccuped Ivan.

"What do you two me-"

"So it wasn't you he's been.." Eric faded out.

"He's been? He's been what?" I stammered.

Eric turned to Ivan with wide eyes, and began heavily downing the remains of his drink as though to ignore me. I gave a heavy sigh, aware that neither wanted to share a word more, and set upon further travels to find John.
But it was barely even seconds after turning my head that I caught glimpse of him.

"Sam, I'm sorr-" I felt Eric reach for my shoulder having seen I'd noticed, before I shook him off with a paralysed expression of disbelief.

I could feel my knees weakening with every gradual step further forward I took, with the raging pain of serrated knifes stabbing right through my chest.

He had her pinned to a wall, suffocating her with his body forced so tightly to hers, though she wasn't reluctant to stop him. His slid his hands up and down her curvy figure, pinching occasionally at the waist, making her jolt pleasantly. And she, she gripped her hands through his hair fiercely, as the two of them united with their jaws clenched to one another.

Step by step I inclined closer, my eyes watering with the pain of every aching muscle, and the hollowness I felt inside. It looked like the two had been at it for hours.
I was merely meters from the sight now, unable to take my eyes off the two of them in excruciating horror.

He'd jolt her backwards now again, making her squeal a little, and sending a stabbing pain through me, like somebody hammering a nail through my already shattered heart. Perhaps that would have even been less painful.

"John..." I croaked barely audibly, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks as he blatantly ignored me, and instead continued moaning sweet words to her in between breaths.

"Lennon you bloody arsehole!" I shouted impulsively, with a sensation of anger coursing through my boiling bloodstream.

This time had been loud enough for not only him to hear, but apparently a few others in the pub, as the heads of random strangers turned to the scene. John's head shot up, and his eyes flew open as he choked for air, abruptly pulling apart from his heated kisses after being taken so aback.

The girl clasped to his chest gasped as she noticed me staring darkly at her with narrow and piercing eyes. She pushed John away from her, who was stood unable to take his eyes off me, and batting her eyelashes, fled from the awkward scene like the cowardly little slag she was.

With John's doleful eyes searing through me, and the sudden burning sensation which surged through my feeble body, I felt vulnerable.

John stood starstruck without a single word, but refrained from ever looking away from me. I on the other hand, couldn't bare to even look him in the eye, and bit my lip down firmly as my eyes began to water.

"Sam-" He reached out to me before I shook my head and turned my back to him, bolting for the nearest exit, with nothing but his fading echoes calling faintly over the rowdy gatherings of the pub to chase me.