Bender x Reader - Futurama

Chapter 31: How to Be a Man

"Let's get started, shall we?" Bender said. You turned your chair so that the your hands were on the back of it. You were sitting on the chair backwards. 

Bender turned his chair so that he could face you. He was sitting properly, his legs crossed in a neat fashion, his hands in his lap politely. 

"So, to be a pervert, you have a lot of dirty thoughts." Bender started, and instantly images you really did not  want to see swarmed in your mind. You closed your eye lid (literally) and went to your desktop. You then opened your eye lid again. 

"Seriously Bender? By a lot of dirty thoughts, did you really mean 100TB (terabytes)?!" You said angrily. 

Bender chuckled nervously and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. He then cursed. "Curse these stupid girly habits!" He yelled. He then resumed his position as a quiet and polite girl. 

You rolled your eyes at his little 'outburst' and watched him take deep breaths and calm himself. 

"Anyway, you need to go to your little 'happy place' or whatever and just not think about it. You haven't seen any ladybots yet, but I'm gonna warn you now - it ain't gonna be pretty. Well, actually she should be fairly pretty to you, but trust me..." Bender inhaled and considered how to tell you this. "You have a dirt-infested mind, okay? And ladybots trigger it really easily so you need to think of non-dirty thoughts." Bender admitted. 

"Oh, that's just great. Juuuust greeeeat. I'm going to be filled with dirty images of female robots all because you get bored during company meetings?!" You scolded him. 

Bender looked sheepish. He then changed his demeanor as his real self kicked back in. 

"I hate this! I hate shoving down my huge amount of emotions, and I hate being so susceptible to embarrassment! Plus, when you close your eyelids, no porn comes on! What kind of human are you?" 
"A normal human!" You shot back. 

"So I tried looking in your memory banks for it and nothing came up! You're completely innocent!"
 "Yes and I would like to stay that way!" You explained angrily. 
"Well then you suck!" Bender said coldly. 

He then regained his lady composure. 

"I am so sorry about that! Well anyway, as I was sayin-" Bender tried to continue but just then, the door opened as the Planet Express crew came back through the door behind Bender. 

Bender yelped in surprise and morphed into a cat involuntarily. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, you do that too." You said apologetically.