Bender x Reader - Futurama

Chapter 30: How to Be a Woman

You and Bender sat in the conference room. You were alone, but it was midday. Everyone had gone out to get ice cream or something - you couldn't remember. It didn't really matter anyway.

Bender sat solemnly in your body. For once, he was absolutely silent.

You, however, were smoking a cigar in a confident fashion. You then sighed, and through the cigar accurately in the trash bin over in the kitchen.

"Look dirtbag. We need to figure this out. You are actually heavily depressed, and normally I wouldn't care, but I do now because you're not paying attention to me!" You said annoyedly.

"Oh, okay!" Bender said, oddly cheerful. He looked at you with big eyes. You snorted. "Wimpyyyyyyy" You yelled, then laughed at yourself. "Alright I'm done now." You composed yourself.

"Look, you've got too many emotions to handle. Your old body didn't have this kind of stuff. I'm a girl - I have to live with these emotions every day for the rest of my life." You told him.

Bender winced at that.

"I can help you, but only if you're willing, got it? You need to learn to control your emotions this week or you are doomed. And I'm not kidding. A woman's emotions can tear you apart." You stated plainly.

"Please teach me the art of being a woman! You gotta make an honest woman out of me!" Bender cried out, suddenly scared for his future.

You were never going to hear him say that ever again so you savored the moment while giving a wide circuit-filled smile.

"Alright, lady time coming up!"

~Later~

"So that's it. You're gonna get real angry all the time. That's just part of my nature. I normally force down my emotions into the cheerful blob that I am, but I've learned that after years of practice. You are going to have to take deep breaths, while closing your eyes and going to your happy place.

"My happy place?"
"Yes, you're happy place. This is the best way to overcome anger."

Bender practiced.

"Can...can I try now?" He asked tentatively.

"Whatever. Just do what I told'ja." You shrugged. "Pretend I upset you."

Bender took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He waited for about 15 seconds before opening his eyes again. "Ta-da!" he said proudly as his fake anger had vanished.

"Great! You just did what girls have been doing for centuries!" You said cheerfully, then you laughed at yourself again. "No but seriously, not bad."

"Babeh I know it." Bender said proudly. Then he blushed. "I mean, you're not my baby in any sense! We're not married or- uh... not that I think we should be married or whatever!" He stuttered, blushing more and more each time he screwed up.

You chuckled at his human emotions then you smiled. "It's fine Bender! Just keep working at it. Meanwhile, do you mind helping me with my (technically your) emotions?"

"Yeah sure! Now to teach you what I do best at - how to be a pervert, everything you need to know." Bender joked and you laughed.

If anything, he had definitely developed and embraced your sense of humor.