Ella's Secrets

Entry 13 (New Beginnings)

Dear Asher!

Happy belated New Year! Better late then never right? I hope you've enjoyed Christmas and New Year's Eve. Wait you aren't even a person... Well whatever you may not be human but you are something... To me at least.

Moving on. I don't really have a specific topic today I am just going to rant I'm sorry Ash you have to bear this. At least you are getting paid to do that... Oh wait! You don't get paid!! HA! I'm sorry I'm drifting off...

As I was saying New Year's passed couple of days ago and we'll you know what that means yep new years resolutions. I already gave up on that because I don't believe in that. There shouldn't be a specific day to say 'hey I want to exercise more' or 'I want to eat healthy'. You can do that every day of the year doesn't matter when. It's the same with valentine's day or mother's day. Why should one show 'special' love to another person and why not every other day? I think that's bullshit.

Do you know Ashy how I visualise a year in my head? A box. A shoebox filled with thousands of memories, some good some bad. And I love that box because that's my life with every little experience I gained that year, every tear I shed, every smile I smiled. At the end of the year you go through that shoebox and remember everything you did or didn't do.

What I hate the most is the beginning of everything. Doesn't matter if it's a book, a movie, homework or new year. Because I am confused. I don't know what's happening I don't know the storyline in a book or in a movie and I don't like that. I like to know everything.

At New year's my box is empty filled with air. Emptiness. It's actually pretty scary because you start thinking wow another year passed, I'm getting older. Slowly but surely I have to grow up think about paying bills and thinking about having a family.
Yeah there is a lot of shit that's going on in my head.

That was kind of a short rant but a rant anyways. So I guess that's it for today.

Love ya Ashy. Until next time! x