Ella's Secrets

Entry 33 (Nothing)

Dear Asher!

I know, I know it's been a very long time but honestly I wasn't in the mood to entertain you with the details of my life, not because so much happened that I couldn't keep up or anything like that. Truth is nothing happened. I lived like any other adult- binge watching series while eating snacks and junk food on my bed. Very adult-like, I know.

Anyway life has been kinda tough these last couple of weeks. Why? There isn't really an explanation necessary because either of us experience ups and downs and that's how it should be. For me it's been mostly downs but that's nothing new to me. It's not something serious or so, no, it is just that I am fed up with my life in general because it's so monotone and boring. Asher don't even bother saying 'aw boohoo then go do something exciting' yeah well my non-existing friend money doesn't rain from the sky and getting a job is also not so easy if you don't have any connections.

It doesn't really help that it's still winter and I'm getting sick of the cold. I need the sun so I don't have to wear a 5 kilo jacket and look like a penguin. I can start jogging by the water so I can see a lot of six packs on hot guys. I can't wait for the summer season. Unfortunately I'll celebrate my 20th birthday which is very weird because time flew by. I can still remember my 18th birthday like it was yesterday and that was almost 2 years ago...

Also I'm still single which is very sad. Asher can't you do your magic and sent me a guy so I can binge watch my favourite series with him while he feeds me junk food? Now THAT'S relationship goals! No, but seriously Ash do something, help a girl out! He can spill any drink on me, he can bump into me and not even apologising for it even though it's his fault, he can be my hot boss, he can just man up and just start talking to me (in a non-creepy way, of course) on the streets if he finds me interesting. I wouldn't say no if he's genuine about it and I'm sure no woman would because that's what we admire and want from you guys. It's not like we expect it from you, don't get me wrong! We wouldn't turn you down without a reason (reason being that person is either in a relationship or a lesbian etc.) and that isn't a problem either maybe you'll forget about it and be friends instead. I know this whole thing is cliché, stupid and slightly naive but that's because we made it this way. We are so sceptical about anything and everyone that we don't appreciate a conversation from a stranger that doesn't have a shady vibe around him. That's very unfortunate because I'd love to hear crazy, funny, shocking, sad stories from people. That would be pretty interesting.

Be careful though! I'm not saying you should walk up to any given person and talk about your deepest secrets and personal stuff or let a stranger talk to you if you aren't comfortable with it!

What I am trying to say is try new things in your life and start being brave about different things like speaking up in class, stating or personal opinion in a meeting that's a bit different from the other ones, use your voice to let people around you know how you feel and think.

Love you Ashy​. Until next time! x