Ella's Secrets

Entry 27 (Decisions)

Dear Asher!

I know, I know Ash it's been a very long time don't be mad at me. I have just been very, very busy lately with very important stuff. I won't go into details because it isn't really relevant to what I want to address today.

Decisions. We have to make them every day multiple times. As a kid you don't have to make them fortunately because your parents are there for you to make them but as you grow up it's kind of inevitable. As a little kid we had to decide which branch we wanted to go such as language or geometry. That very decision will affect your whole school career so I had to be very careful, granted I was 11 years old so I didn't think too much about it. I just knew that I loved French. I loved the sound of it and how elegant it sounded. I have always wanted to learn it and so I did. I took French classes. They were times I deeply regret it because it was getting more and more difficult to keep up but I didn't let it get through me. I had multiple teachers throughout the years in French so I always had to adapt. It was hard but as I grew older it was getting better. Why? Because the teachers don't see you as a kid anymore. They start to respect you as an adult which gives you enough confidence to try your very best in succeeding in that language.

Fast forward to my high school years the decisions were getting more difficult to make for various reasons. First being the simple ones such as when is the best to do my assignment or my presentation. In my senior year the important question were asked like in what subjects you would like to take your finals apart from the mandatory ones. These questions were hard to answer but not for me because I was confident in what subjects I know I will ace in and what not. Everybody made fun of me because I took English, French and Psychology/Philosophy for my oral exams. It was hard work to be honest but I managed because I knew what I was good in. I didn't let my classmates affect and influence me into thinking it's too much or I am not capable enough for doing them.

Don't let anybody come across your path. Be your own person. You know what's best for you. You know what you like and dislike not others. Don't let others influence your made decisions even if it seems difficult to do. If you are confident in excelling in it then do it!

After the finals everybody around you will ask you the same thing, guaranteed. In what subject would you like to major in college? They won't ask you what your plans are for the future. No. They automatically assume you are going to college straight after the finals and that's okay but don't be so narrow-minded. The chances that I will go to college are pretty high but still don't jump to any conclusions. Maybe I want to take a gap year or go to another country to a relative for a year or something like that...

Nevertheless it is an important decision because this one will affect your whole life not your school career. With everyone around me asking me the same damn question every time they see me I am getting pressured to say I want to become a lawyer or a doctor. That's not the case. I won't be a lawyer or a doctor because that's too much work and too much stress for me to handle and most importantly it doesn't interest me. I am still unsure what I really want to do with my life. I mean I already have a plan but I am not sure it will work at the end as I would like it to be.

At the end of the day Ash we always have to make decisions some are very important and some are not so important and sometimes they hurt people in the process because we want to protect ourselves from heartbreak. Either way we make that decision so the other person doesn't do it.

Be yourself in everything you do, doesn't matter if it's something big or not. Don't try to be someone you clearly are not.

Love you Ashy. Until next time! x