Teach me how to dougie

Love isnt easy

I walked away from him slowly regretting what I had just said.

Where was I going to go? What was I going to do?

I couldn't stand it I let the tears fall and the whimpers and sons escape.i stil hadn't left the venue yet but I was in pieces.

I opened the door to the apartment it was dark and slightly scary, I hadn't really been here on my own we went everywhere together never alone. He was to protective of me.

I couldn't stand to sleep in our bed but I was so tired, I couldn't sleep on the sofa so I stumbled towards the spare room my old room. I remember everything now. Everything that happened, everything I felt over those five years and it stings.

I hadn't been in the spare room for about a month or two, I haven't been avoiding it, it's just I've never needed to. I turned the handle and was astonished by what I saw inside.

The walls were grey with crisp white tree painted on, turqouise leaves filling in the spaces amongst the branches. Turqouise white and grey fabric bunting hubs around the room. The crisp white furniture a placed carefully around the nursery. The cot was made with turqouise sheets and a grey comforter small stuffed toys filled the cot and were also carefully placed on the nursing chair. I opened the crisp white door on the tall wardrobe it was filled with vests and playsuits. I had brought lots and he told me he'd put away for me. The little compartments were filled with bounties and socks. I smiled slightly through my tears as I saw the baby grow that said "my daddy scored!"

"You like your birthday present then?" The voice startled me slightly I jumped out of my skin but was soon relieved when a familiar face appeared out of the shadows of the room.

"It's beautiful" my voice was shaky barely even a whisper but he still heard, smirking slightly.

"Just like you then." We were both ignoring everything that had just happened.

"So I told everyone I would make sure you were okay?" He dropped his head muffling his sentence.

I took a deep breath and wiped away me tears, I didn't want him to see how hurt I was.

"I am fine." My words were sharp and blunt showing no emotion. He flinched slightly at my tone. I looked down at the ground waiting anxiously for him to reply.

I head footsteps closer and closer before his hand lifted my chin softly to look him in the eyes. My eyes began to glace over again as I looked him straight in the eyes.

"I love you so much, I can't lose you and that's why I lied, I am so sorry for everything that happened I do stupid things, these past five years without you were hell, I ended up in a dark dark place, and if you leave me I will end up there again and there's nothing I can do about it. So if you want to walk away, that's fine but first look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." I hung on to every word. His voice was soft and so desperate yet sounded so strong.

Tears spilt down my eyes slowly, his eyes were fixed on mine, I self slightly self conscience. I closed my eyes slowly causing tears to soak my eyes lashes. "I cant." I could t bring myself to do it. I loved him, I still love him, more than anything, but I hate how he made me feel.

"Oh thank god" he moved closer to kiss me, I tried to move away but I couldn't.

"I love you so much, I am so so so sorry."

"Dougie just because I can't bring myself to leave you doesn't mean I forgive you, you will have to gain my trust again"

He nodded quickly. " I will I swear to you just please don't leave me."

"Love isn't that easy dougie!"