30 Day Letter Challenge

Day Twenty-Three, Looks Like I Kiss and Tell

Deaaaar Nolaan,

   Well, Nolan, it's kinda sad to say you were the last guy I kissed.. But in the same aspect it's not. That was probably about two months ago. I know that what happens in truth or dare, stays there, but hey we were supposedly going out so that makes it ok. That didn't work out very well. Not at all. Wanna know why? I didn't have feelings for you, still don't as a matter of fact.

  I wish I did, because to me you're the perfect guy. Despite all your problems, I see exactly what I want in you. You're hilarious and sweet, the shoulder to cry on. You're fun and out there, kind of unpredictable. And you're reserved, that's what I like most. You're shy, it seems hard for you to open up to people, but you're the first one to sympathize. Even if you don't know someone, anyone could tell you care. On top of everything you even play guitar. Classic Rock mostly, but you also like country. Yeah, it's kinda weird that I know all this considering when we talk, we barely talk, but I have a great memory, and I pick up things other people would usually miss.

  You stick out to me mostly because I can see the hurt in your eyes.. whearas no one else seems to until you tell them. Which, yes, is how I know I'm right. You shouldn't tell her things, Makayla that is. She can't be trusted, and you really shouldn't have allowed her in so much. She can crush you, babe, and then I'll feel bad for not stopping it. I have so much respect for you, and everything I know you must've been through, and since I can relate I care about you in that sense. I wanna be your crying shoulder, and I know there's barely a chance that could happen, but can't blame a girl for caring.

 So, it's supposed to be a secret that you asked me out. And it's supposed to be a secret that you felt certain ways that, yeah, I'm not gunna blow up because that has nothing to do with me. The point was it isn't a secret if I know. She told me, again, Don't Tell Her Things! It's really not any of my business. But I'm sick of secrets. You have barely talked to me in days, and I know why. You need some self time, that's cool. It also shows me that you aren't ready for a relationship any more than I am, so we really shouldn't be doing this. I even blew you off last weekend, then you said you hadn't talked to me because you were in trouble. My friend was at your house everyday. Again, neither one of us is ready for an honest relationship, we've really proved it. So I don't plan on formally breaking up with you, but I do plan to not talk to you until you get the picture. That's probably not the way to do it, but I think it's for the best.

 In my eyes, it's done. And in some strange way, I'll miss you for now. Eventually, I wanna be friends, close ones! And I know you won't have a problem with it. One last thing, the last time I saw you, you were in a fight with a friend of mine. The look on your face pained me so much, she didn't care either. I wanted to run up and hug you.. I know on top of everything you esspecially don't need anything else to worry about. So Promise me you'll be strong. Don't ever give in.

  Mel

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A/N: *Sigh* That was a load off my chest. Hopefully, I stick to this. But I seriously doubt it. Well, maybe...