Tripping Down 12 Steps Into Malibu

Visitor's Day

"How are things?"

Ryan sat across from his father in the crowded cafeteria. All the tables were full of people interacting with friends and family members. Talking. Laughing. Arguing. Crying. It was all fucking annoying.

But what annoyed him the most was his roommate. Brendon. Ryan assumed the tall man visiting him was his boyfriend. They'd barely spoken the entire time. All they did was hold hands, smile and stare at each other. It was making his skin crawl.

Well, it was either that, or the hit he'd taken an hour ago when everyone else was outside enjoying recess. He resisted the urge to scratch at his skin. It wouldn't solve anything. He'd still be itchy and it would make him look suspicious.

He'd done three hits so far. One was yesterday afternoon. The other was the first day he got there. The last was this morning. And if he was being honest with himself, he was probably going to do one later when everyone was going to bed. If he wasn't careful he was going to use up all the rocks he'd snuck in.

He knew it would happen eventually. He just didn't know he'd smoke them all so soon. The next visiting day he was going to have Jon come over instead of his dad. Then Jon could bring him a bigger supply.

"George!" His father snapped his fingers in his face to get his attention.

"What?" Ryan rolled his eyes.

"What were you looking at?"

"My roommate."

His father turned to where he'd been looking. "Which one is he?"

"The one is the stupid shirt." Ryan turned to eye the Iron Man shirt again.

"The one with the big mouth?"

"Yeah." He looked away from him. Focusing his gaze on the cheap table.

"Wait a minute." His father's voice was full of humor. "Does my boy have a crush?"

"No. But I'd like to crush him." He muttered. "Specifically his skull. He fucking snores and I can't sleep at night."

"That's adorable."

"What did you want?" Ryan clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"I asked how things were going."

"Great." He smiled as big as his cheeks would allow. "I'm making so many new friends! They let us eat snacks and have recess. We're even supposed to paint pretty pictures tomorrow. It feels like kindergarten all over again. I never want to go home." He made sure the sarcasm dripping from every word was too obvious to go unnoticed.

"You don't have to be an ass-"

"It's second nature-"

"I asked you a simple question."

"And I gave you a simple answer."

"You gave me a sarcastic answer. There's a difference."

"Who cares?"

"I do."

"If you cared so much you wouldn't have put me in this hell hole."

"I put you in here because I do care-"

"You put me in here because you were tired of me ruining your precious reputation." Ryan snapped. His raised voice catching the attention of a few other guest. Even a couple of the councilors who were monitoring the visits. "You were tired of paying for my mistakes. I get it!"

"You don't get anything." His father glared.

"I get to be forced to live here. That's got to be something, right dad?"

"Keep your voice down." He glanced around. "You're making a scene."

"God forbid I make a scene." Ryan slapped both his palms on the table. More people stopped their conversations to look at him.

"What is wrong with you?" His father leaned over the table. Leveling his eyes with Ryan's. "Are you high?"

"Even in rehab you're going to accuse me of being high?" He laughed dryly. "I just can't fucking win, can I?"

"You are high." His father said in a lower voice. His gaze burned into Ryan's, causing the younger man to look away first. "You brought drugs into a rehab? Are you fucking insane?"

Ryan's eyes slid back to his father's. His father hadn't noticed until now, but his pupils were dilated. Extremely so. When he spoke again, his voice was as low as his dad's.

"Of course I'm insane. This place is full of loons. It's making me crazy."

"Crack is making you crazy, son."

"Crack is what's keeping me sane."

"That's the drugs talking." He leaned back in his chair. "Enjoy your snuck in drugs while you can. You won't be getting anymore."

"Okay." Ryan smiled. Little did his father know, he'd be getting more next week.

"Wipe that smug smile off your face." He mimicked it. "I knew you'd do something like this. So I restricted your visitation list."

"You what?"

"The only people who can visit are me and your lawyer."

"Why would you do that?" Ryan's voice rose again. He stood up. "You had no right to do that!"

"I had every right!" His father stood up after him. "You're an addict. You need-"

"I don't need anything from anyone!" He yelled. The entire room was now fixated on him. "I don't need help. I don't fucking want help. I don't want to be here!"

"George-"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" He screamed out each syllable separately.

Ryan realized how quiet the room around him had gotten. He finally focused on something other than himself. When he looked around, he noticed everyone watching. Staring at him as if he were an animal in a zoo.

He backed out of the room slowly. Letting the swinging doors close after him. When he was in the hall, he made a beeline for his room.