Tripping Down 12 Steps Into Malibu

We Appreciate What Those Around Us Have Done And Are Helping Us Do

Ryan can admit that he felt a strong sense of pride. He thought the whole thing would seem juvinille and condescending. He was wrong. It felt good having so many people congradulating him for all the effort he put into this thing. Into getting better. He was actually better. Even if it were only for now.

For the first time in a long time Ryan Ross wasn't craving anything. And it wasn't just because he was being distracted by something else. No, he honestly and truely had no urge for a drug. The thought of one was enough to make him run and hide. Even if it was just to get out of having to go through the twelve step program again. Even if it was just to make sure the wide smile on his father's face never disappeared.

He glanced around the room looking for said father. He found him talking to Jesse. Ryan's cousin, who'd come along for the celebration, was standing right behind him. A cup of non-alcoholic fruit punch being held in her hand. He let his eyes wonder the rest of the room. Taking in the others like him. The others who were well or at least good enough at pretending to get out.

Even Patrick and Pete were in the crowd. Pete of course being the center of attention to the small group surrounding them. Telling some joke that had everyone laughing and clutching their sides. It made Ryan feel happy to see Patrick smiling agian. To see the dynamic duo back in action. Even if they were starting over together.

At first Ryan thought it was sick to have current residence attending the Release Day celebration for those who'd managed the steps. But he quickly changed his mind when he entered the room. The day was for friends and family. As much as he resisted in the begining, he'd actually made some friends in the hell hole he was forced to call home for months. He was happy they could be here. They both seemed genuine in their positive wishes for his future. Patrick even slapped him on the ass for good luck.

Ryan made his way over to the resfreshment table. Drugs were out of the picture. But his new found addiction for sweets, well that was something else. He stared down longingly at the options in front of him. Cookies, cakes, cupcakes, candies, chocolate. He wanted one of each. But he'd start with some candy for now. The bowl of M&Ms looked promising. He went for the candy only to stop when another hand went in at the same time. They both pulled back.

"Sorry." He muttered and heard Brendon mumble,

"My bad."

They seemed to note each other's voice at the same time. Both sets of brown eyes slid up.

Ryan had done a good job of staying out of Brendon's path during the celebration. He looked away when his name was called to retrieve his certificate. He didn't look for those lips and those eyes in the crowd of party goers afterwards.

Of course the universe would slap him in the face like this.

"Hey." He said because he had to fucking say something.

"Hi." Brendon looked as lost as he did. Good. "Congratulations on your sobriety." It was same generic thanks he'd gotten from a few of the less known counselors.

"Thanks. Same to you, dude." Dude.

Brendon nodded. Glancing away. At something or for someone. "I hope it last."

"It will. I believe in you."

"Thank you." He looked fixedly at Ryan's face again. "I love you, Ryan."

The urge to run stabbed through him. He held his ground. "Where is your fiancé?"

"I still love you too, jackass." He was nearly mouthing the words. "Love doesn't just go away because we went away."

"I love you too." Ryan admitted because he wouldn't have another chance. This was thier goodbye. What would it hurt to let it all come out? Brendon's eyes glinted with something he needed to get rid of fast. So he added, "But not as much as Dallon clearly does. You put that guy through hell and he still loves you." He laughed lightly. "That's true love. I can't do that for you. I can't take you away from someone who can."

"Not even if I wanted to be taken away?" He insisted. "I don't want to be swept off my feet. I don't want to keep being saved by Dallon. I want someone who I can save sometimes too. I want you."

Before Ryan could respond, Dallon was wrapping his arm around Brendon's shoulder. Like it was his rightly owned place. And it kind of was. Ryan sighed. That was a sign if he'd ever seen one.

A/N:
I just want to update the rest of this book right now because I'm so proud of it. Would you guys mind if I just finished it in one day?