Tripping Down 12 Steps Into Malibu

Stick Around

Brendon hated getting dressed in the bathroom. He liked his showers hell water hot. Which meant the bathroom was always steamy and warm when he got out. It made it hard to dry off in there. He'd end up having to get dressed when his skin wasn't completely dry. And his shirt and pants would feel like they were sticking to his body.

It was uncomfortable, tedious and unnecessary. Which is why he decided not to do it. He snatched the towel from the rack, tightening it around his waist and folding it securely.

The door opened and his vision cleared as the fog from the heat began to disappear. The contrasting cold air of the room slapped against his bare chest.

Of course the room was empty. He wouldn't have come out naked if Ryan were there. But he knew Ryan was in the library. He seemed to always be in the library lately. He barely spent time in the cafeteria, he didn't go outside, the man barely spent time in his own room. It was always the library. For hours of the day.

The only time he saw him this week was when it was time to go to bed. They never talked then. Except when they said goodnight. So it came as no surprise that Ryan didn't try sneaking into his bed in the middle of the night again. Brendon thought briefly about joining Ryan's bed. But the fear of a harsh rejection kept him wrapped securely in his own blanket.

It just didn't add up. They were doing so good. Opening up to each other. Talking to each other. Laughing with each other. And then it all suddenly stopped for no reason. Brendon could admit the unexplained distance hurt his feelings.

He thought they were connecting. He needed that with someone. It wasn't the same with Pete and Patrick. And Dallon wasn't around for him to emotionally latch on to. Dallon dropped him in his most needy time. Then Ryan came in like a hero to catch him. Only to drop him again from a shorter distance.

It wasn't right. It didn't make sense. So Brendon was going to make sense of it. He was going to confront Ryan and find out what he did wrong. What he said wrong. And then he'd apologize and get his friend back.

He grabbed a random pair of boxers and tossed them on the bed. Unfolding the edge of the towel to transfer the cloth from his hips to his head. Drying his hair a little rougher than he usually did. It felt therapeutic. Stress relieving.

A privileged contrast to the way his entire frame went rigid at the sound of the room door opening. The panic unluckily slowed his reaction time down.

Ryan entered before his mind allowed the idea of covering himself up. Instead of wrapping it around as he'd done the first time, he held it in front of his lower body to cover himself.

Ryan easily walked past him to get to his side of the room. Brendon flushed red all over.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that! I thought you were at the library."

"I didn't see anything." He laid on the bed. Facing away from him.

"You've just been in there so much lately. I thought you'd be longer."

"It was becoming crowded so I decided to take a nap instead. And I didn't see anything anyway." He repeated.

"You haven't been spending much time in here lately."

"I thought you'd be outside. You never miss out on the opportunity to be outside."

"I know." Brendon took advantage of Ryan's back being towards him. Pulling his boxers on. "I was going to head out there eventually. I just had to- wait is that why you came back into the room?"

"I just told you why I came in here."

"Would you have still come in if you knew I was in here?"

"Of course not. I didn't walk in on you like that on purpose."

"I didn't mean- look." He sighed. "Have you been avoiding me?"

Ryan turned in the bed to face him. "Why would I be avoiding you?"

"I don't know. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Brendon." He lifted into a sitting position. Realizing he wasn't going to get his nap since his roommate was in the mood to talk.

"You've been distancing yourself."

"I needed space."

"Why? Was I crowding you? I didn't mean to."

"Why are you acting this way?" Ryan let his his head knock against the headboard twice. "Don't you have a fiancé?"

"I told you how things were with Dallon."

"Yeah, and I think the whole thing is stupid."

"I think you're stupid."

"I'm stupid?!" He pointed to himself to make sure there was no confusion. Brendon nodded. "No you're stupid. You're all like Oh I'm so sad my boyfriend went to go make more money to pay for my rehab. Boohoo. Woe is me!" He poorly intimidated Brendon's voice.

"Two things." He held up his fingers. "I do not sound like that. And I don't know what woe means so your dumb little insult went right over my head."

"You still think I'm the stupid one?"

"And you're any better? At least I'm not walking around all Hey I'm Ryan. I'm an emo loner and I hate everything that makes people happy." Brendon made his voice distinctly feminine.

"Hey I'm Brendon and I have a boyfriend but I go around calling my roommate hot." He mocked.

"I said pretty. Not hot."

"Whatever." Ryan flopped down flat. Bouncing on the mattress slightly. "You still said it."

"Is that what this is about?" Brendon lowered himself on the corner of Ryan's bed. "You feel weird because I said you were pretty?"

"I don't feel weird about it." He rolled over to lay his head on Brendon's knee. His hair ticked his bare skin as he stared up at him. "But don't you?" The familiarity made Brendon smile. It didn't matter why Ryan was avoiding him before. He couldn't deny the fact that Brendon made him feel comfortable enough to be close to.

"Why would I?"

"Because you have a boyfriend."

"I had a boyfriend." The sad thought was spoken aloud accidentally. He looked away, embarrassed. "Dallon doesn't have much time for me any more." Brendon thought back on the two brisk conversation they'd had since he left.

"He's working a new job, right?" Brendon nodded slowly. Ryan shrugged. "Then he's going to be busy for a while. He'll come around."

"Well," He looked down at Ryan. "Until he does, can you stay around? I need someone to. No more avoiding me."

"I wasn't avoid-"

"Will you?" Desperation laced his words.

"Of course."