Tripping Down 12 Steps Into Malibu

M&Ms

Ryan sat by himself as he usually did at lunch. Patrick smiled at him when he passed their table. An invitation to sit with them today? Maybe. Maybe not. He declined either way.

There were too many of them sandwiched together for his liking. They also talked too much and too loud. He could only deal with one chatterbox at a time.

And there he was.

His personal chatterbox.

Brendon stood near the entrance of the cafeteria with his tray in his hand. He glanced to his right where his usual table of friends were. Ryan's was surprised that he didn't immediately take his place. He watched him shuffle his feet before glancing in the direction of Ryan's empty table.

Ryan smiled in response. Beckoning him over with a simple flick of his wrist. He wasted no time walking past his friends to get to him. He was talking before his tray hit the table.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to sit with you." He admitted. Pulling the chair back and lowering himself into it. "I'm glad you did."

"Of course I did."

He blushed. "Look." The small, yellow package was waved in front of his face. It was swaying too quickly for Ryan to get a look at the label. He grabbed it from him.

"M&Ms?"

"Yeah." He was practically bouncing in his seat. Ryan was afraid to give him the candy back. Did this man really need the extra sugar? "The counselor, Sarah gave it to me."

"That was nice of her."

"Yeah it was. Do you want some?"

"Sure."

Brendon used his teeth to rip the corner of the package. Spitting the paper from his mouth and onto the floor. He titled the bag into the empty section of Ryan's tray. Three round pieces of candy rolled to the corner of it.

"It's the kind with peanuts. Do you like nuts?"

Ryan smirked. "I'm a fan."

Brendon blushed again. "You're disgusting." He dug his fingers into the package to grab one out. "I missed eating candy so much. I wish I had more. They should start selling it in the cafeteria. Just because we're in rehab, doesn't mean we shouldn't get snacks. This isn't prison. You know what I mean? Even if they can't have them everyday. At least-"

"I'm no good with words." Ryan started randomly. Brendon's lips snapped shut in surprise. "But I just wanted you to know that I like you." Brendon's eyes were the size of the moon. Ryan bit his lip and continued. "I'm really glad you're my roommate. I hate it here more than anything. But if I had a chance to go back in time and avoid it, I wouldn't do it. Because then I wouldn't have met you." He was talking slowly. Giving Brendon the chance to cut in whenever he felt like it. "You make my life here better. With your constant, out of place smiles. And your annoyingly positive attitude. And your open willingness to make this place feel like home." He grimaced at his wording. "Not that this place feels like my home.You feel like my home. God. That was so cheesy that I want to punch myself in the face." His hand covered his mouth to physically shut himself up.

"Please don't." Finally he spoke.

Ryan laughed nervously. His eyes darted to the other table. Patrick was staring over at them. He was doing what the smaller man told him to. He just hoped he wasn't fucking it up. Ryan's eyes begged him for help. Patrick only nodded for him to continue.

"Basically what I'm saying is that I think I might be developing some feeling for-" the last word stuck in his throat. He glanced at his surroundings for answers. His eyes landing on his tray. "For M&Ms."

"For M&Ms?" Brendon was clearly taken aback by the turn in conversation.

That was so stupid. "Yeah." Ryan plucked all three from his tray and put them in his mouth.

Brendon smiled to himself. Ryan was actually nervous and it was the cutest thing ever. He understood exactly what was going on. And if this is the way Ryan felt comfortable talking about it, he'd play along.

"Well, here." He tipped the bag. A few more colorful candies fell out. "Just know you can always have more. In fact." He emptied the bag into his tray. "You can have every M&M I have to offer." The empty package was set on the table between them. "And I'll make sure I always have more just for you. My M&Ms will always be there as long as you want them."

Brendon tried to make eye contact but he was staring down at his food. At all the chocolate covered peanuts in front of him. Ryan's cheeks flushed as he ate another. "Thank you." He grabbed a hand full of them. Dumping in on Brendon's tray. "But I don't want them all. I'd always want you to have some for yourself."

"Whatever you want." Brendon relaxed in his seat. He slumped down. His foot hit Ryan's under the table. The taller man jumped. Drawing back for only a second before letting his feet rest between Brendon's again.

Ryan exhaled quietly. The stress began draining from his body. He let his eyes travel back to the more active table. Both Pete and Patrick were watching them interact now. Their gooey eyed expression made him smile. Brendon's eyebrows lowered in confusion. He followed Ryan's gaze to his friends. When they noticed Brendon caught them staring they looked away quickly. Pete's hands slid behind his head. His eyes staring up at the ceiling. Patrick's chin rested in his hands. He stared at the wall beside them. Both failing miserably at trying to look casual.