A Cheaters Nightmare: A Dilmer Fanfic

Dr. Drew

Demi POV

I wake up in the middle of the night not being able to sleep like usual. I go downstairs to get a drink and see Wilmer on the couch, awake and just staring at his phone. I quietly make my way into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of tea. I drink it in the kitchen so I don't have to worry about bringing the cup down later and then put it in the sink with a pile of dirty dishes I haven't washed yet. I sneak back upstairs without him noticing and go into Julians room. He's awake too.

"What are you doing up?" I whisper walking over to his crib. He puts his arms up and I pick him up. I sit in the rocking chair and kick my feet up on the rocking foot rest and hold him. He lays his head on my chest with his hands holding tightly onto the sides of my shirt.

"Julian." I say causing him to look up. I comb down the hair on his head with my hands and kiss his forehead. He lays back down and I stay like that most of the night. It definitely gives me time to think which is something I need to do. I need to figure out what I'm gonna do next... I need to decide if I want to continue to live like this or not. It's last minute, but I call my manager and have him do me a favor. I stay on the phone with him for two hours figuring things out. Once we hang up, I lay my head back on the chair and rub Julian's back as he sleeps on my lap. I stay up the rest of the night just holding my son. I still can't believe he's already one year old. Time flew by so fast, especially since almost half of his first year I didn't get to spend as time as I wanted to with him.

"Hey." I hear from the doorway.

"I thought I asked you to go home last night." I say.

"And I thought I told you that I was staying no matter what you said... Have you been up all night?"

"No... Just since one." I say.

"So... Almost all night."

"You should probably get going. I'll get Julian ready and meet you downstairs." I say.

He leaves and I wake Julian up. I get him dressed and packed. I pack almost all of his stuff in his bag that he'll need for awhile and take it downstairs.

I get him hooked into Wilmers car and give him a long kiss on the forehead.

"I'll see you soon." I say closing the door.

"I'll talk to you later?" I say walking over to Wilmer on his side of the car.

"Can we talk?"

"I actually have somewhere to be... I'll talk to you later." I say again, this time as a statement and not as a question.

"Okay..."

I go inside and get ready to leave.

~~~~~

"Hi." Dr. Drew says to me as I arrive at the rehab facility.

"Hi." I say quietly shaking her hand.

"Before we get you settled were gonna go to my office to finalize a few things okay?"

"Okay." I say.

We get to her office and I sit down, leaving my suitcase and bag by the door.

"So before anything, I like to get to know my patients and sort of figure out why they are here... Is that okay?" I nod. "Okay... So you've been to a rehab facility before?"

"Yes, when I was 18."

"What for?"

"Eating disorder, cutting, anorexia, bulimia, drug and alcohol abuse..."

"Okay." She says writing it down.

"Why have you decided to come again?"

"I was raped... A little while back and then got pregnant with my son... I went through a period then of depression due to not knowing who the father was and the confusion I had with that. Then I started dating this guy who..." I stop for a minute. "Who physically and verbally abused me... I was with him for months. Because of him, I lost custody of my son, I lost a handful of friends... Now I can't sleep at night, I can't turn a corner on the street without wondering whos gonna be standing on the other side, I can't have any physical contact with anyone without having an anxiety attack..."

"Have you been diagnosed with any form of PTSD?"

"Yes.." I say nodding. "With my insomnia and then with being bi-polar and not being able to get these thoughts out of my head I've picked up some of my old habits."

"What old habits?"

"Cutting... Starving myself and cocaine. I feel like the eating part this time isn't as serious... Before I would throw up six times a day, I would eat two meals in one week... Now it's just like... A meal a day, or a banana is all I'll eat for the day. I don't purge or anything like that so I don't think it's as extreme as before." I say.

"Okay..." She says writing notes down.

"Now..." She stops and thinks of how she wants to word her question. "You brought yourself here... Obviously your serious about this. What made you want to come and get help?"

"My son. If it wasn't for him, I would of killed myself by now. I promised him right before I lost custody of him that I would be there for him no matter what. I realize that I need to get better for him..."

"Okay. Well I think this time will not be as hard as last time. I feel like you have experienced a lot of tragic events recently that you can't fathom and control... Your problem is not getting sober, its staying sober when something like this happens. So... Your here for a month. Throughout this month were gonna go over some stuff that you didn't go over last time and hopefully when you get out of here you'll be able to be the best mother you can be for son... Okay?" She says smiling at the end.

I nod.

"Does anyone know your here?" She asks.

"No." I say shaking my head. This was kind of last minute. I started to think about doing this after I passed out at Julian's party and then finalized it last night.

"Okay. Similar to last time, the first 48 hours, there is no communication allowed with the outside world... Is there anyone you want to call before we take your phone?"

"No." I say shaking my head.

The only person who does know I'm in here is Phil since he helped me set this up. My album releases in the middle of August. I'll get out of here by the end of July. While I'm in here, Phil is going to release my single "Cool For The Summer" and I'll record the video and do all the press when I get out.

"Okay... Then we're ready to show your room." She says standing up. She takes one of my bags for me and then takes me to my room.

She says her goodbyes and tells me my first meeting is tomorrow morning at 9:00 and that breakfast is at 7:30. I thank her and she leaves.

I un-pack and hang up pictures of Julian on my bulletin board. I also hang up pictures of my sisters and mom and dad. Then I get to one of Wilmer and Julian. I stare at it for awhile, staring at the resemblance they have and how much I miss them both right now. I start to feel guilty that I didn't tell Wilmer but he'll find out eventually. I need to focus on my month in here so I don't have to come back to these hell holes again.

~~~~~

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~Ashley