Star Wars: The Second Coming

Chapter 12: I Feel It Again

I sat in front of the mirror, looking at the blood on my gloves. I stared at it and felt myself questioning my loyalty. She was getting into my head, my sister, my flesh my blood... The blood that was on these gloves... I was hurting her.  I threw my gloves at the wall and let out a loud scream bringing my fist into the mirror in front of me, smashing it as my knuckles bled. I wrapped up my hand quickly, sitting on my bed with my hands in my hair. It felt good to take the braids out at night. I changed out of my robes, my hooded cape and dark clothing and set it aside, changing into a black tank top and some black pants. Everything on this base was black. My hand stung, but the physical pain took away from the internal pain. I laid back in my bed, forcing myself to sleep.

----------------------------

"I advise you, young one... Please do not go" Luke spoke softly, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Something horrible-"

"They need me, master Luke, you've trained me well, I'm ready!" He sighed, rubbing his hand on his chin. We were under attack, the Jedi, including my parents were fighting back, it was my turn to finally fight, I was ready. I watched my little sister come running, holding Ben's hand as he ran behind her, urging her to slow down.

"KYA, KYA IM COMING TOO!" She spoke loudly but she was too young. I kneeled in front of her, kissing her forehead.

"Not yet, darling." She huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. Luke picked her up and she pouted as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Take care of her while I'm gone, will you?" Luke sighed, walking back into the temple leaving me alone with Ben. We didn't say anything, just stared at each other for a moment he nodded at me, walking back into the temple and I ran after the others.

*****

I was wounded, panting, dirty and screaming as I watched both my mother and father fall. I ran to them, bleeding from the fresh cut that lined my collarbone. "MOM" I shook her, but she was unresponsive, she was gone already and none of the Jedi stopped to help. My father grabbed my hand and held it as tightly as he could. My eyes filled with hot tears, this wasn't happening.

"I love you, Kya" he breathed, bringing his other hand to my face and holding it there "you take care of your sister, you keep going" I shook my head frantically and screamed out for help, no one came, the Jedi didn't do anything... Nothing.  My dad took his last few breaths and I held onto him for dear life.

"Please, please don't leave me. I need you, I can't raise her-"

"Follow your heart, Kya." He spoke, bringing his lips to my fingers. His eyes remained open, but he didn't take another breath. I let out a scream, a heart wrenching scream. They were gone, and this was all because of the Jedi.  They left them for dead, I saw them, they saw me... But none of the, helped my parents.

*********

"Kya-" Luke tried to get a word in. He had bandaged up my wound but the anger I felt inside was too much to bear.

"NO, YOUR STUPID FUCKING JEDI LEFT THE, FOR DEAD, I HAVE NOTHING ANYMORE. NO ONE." He stared at me, not knowing what to say. Picking up Alexia and bringing her away from me, I was too angry to be around her. Apart of my soul just died. I grabbed the table by the edge and flipped it over, screaming. I dropped to my knees and begun to weep. This was not the Jedi way, but I didn't want to be a Jedi anymore... Not after this.

----------------------

I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling tears running down my face. My breathing was heavy and ragged. I pulled at my hair, the sting of my hand coming back. I haven't dreamt of them in so long... I shoved these memories so far in the back of my mind. I got out of bed and stood in the middle of my room for a moment. I let out a scream of anger, throwing everything in sight, not knowing how else to deal with it. I smashed my fists into walls, bruising and breaking the skin of my knuckles. I wept openly against the wall that now had holes in it. Was she putting these thoughts in my mind? Was she implanting them so I could feel this weakness. I wanted to hurt her, but another half of me wants to let her go.

I walked out of my chambers, quietly making my way to the one person I found comfort in. As forbidden as it was, I made my way to Kylo's room. I snuck past the storm troopers, they wouldn't have questioned me, but I couldn't have them talking. I stealthily made my way though the base.

I made it to the doors of his chambers and contemplated knocking, I didn't bother, I just let myself in not knowing if he was asleep or not and not wanting to wake him. I walked into the dimly lit room and closed the door behind me. He looked back at me from the side of his bed, he was sitting awake. His face contorted as he gave me a confused look, but I stood there, unable to speak a word.

"You should be in bed" he joked, not smiling, that's how Kylo was. But then he noticed the distraught in my eyes and he turned his body towards me more now, and examined me. "Kya" his voice was so soft, it didn't even sound like him "what happened, did someone hurt you? Did Hux do anything" His fists clenched, but I shook my head. He got up from the bed and walked to me, his eyes darting to every single place on my body checking if I was lying to him. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't, what would I say? If I told him what happened, it was weakness, he'd punish me again.

"I shouldn't have.... I'm just gonna go-" I pivoted on my heel, making my way to the door to go back to my room.

"Stop" He grabbed my wrist and brought my bandaged hand up to his face and examined it. He shook his head and pulled me to sit on his bed, where he unwrapped my hand and took out new gauze to re wrap it. "Shouldn't be punching mirrors, could've been worse." He spoke sternly.

I pulled my hand away, and stared off onto the floor, not able to make eye contact with him, I couldn't be weak in front of him. His eyes didn't move from my face, he was trying to put the pieces together, he knew something was wrong, and he wouldn't let me leave this room until he figured out what it was.